UNSAID / HOOD

06

VIOLET LOCKHART

-

"Dear Calum,

        I use to write about us, poems, stories about our future, everything. An eulogy is something that I would never want to ever write about you, but I felt like we needed a closure. Before I say anything here, I have to ask, how are you doing up there? Are you doing alright? To carry on, I want to recognize something about you. You're one of the greatest person I've ever met. You found me when I needed company and help the most and you helped me back up on my feet. You took me home, you didn't have to, but you still did. In the two years, or seven hundred and fifty nine days to be precise, you gave me the most beautiful experience anyone could possibly have and you showed me how it is like to be loved. Never in my entire life I've ever missed someone as much as I do now, part of me want to believe this is all a joke you're playing, and maybe you'll rise from the casket and scream surprise and hold me so tight and tell me to stop crying like an idiot. But isn't a joke, you're gone, and I don't know what to do with myself anymore. Losing someone is the hardest thing already, it was an unwanetd goodbye, I wasn't ready to live on life with out you, before what happened, I couldn't even imagine hours with out you, but now I have to spend a lifetime with out you. I will trade all of my tomorrow's for me to go back to that day, and grab on your hand and tell you to stay with me, to not leave me alone. I would do anything in the world for you to be back, even just for a hour, so I could tell you how much I love you and I could watch the way your eyes crinkle when you smile. Please, tell me this is all a dream and when I wake up, I would be lying next to you."

-

By the time I finished my eulogy, the entire church was silent. Calum's mother sat in the front show, and when she looked at me, she nodded. We've never met each other before this, they retired and had moved to Australia, but they both insisted New York was the only place the funeral should be held since that's where Calum considered home. And it's where we found each other.

"Thank you for listening." I folded the piece of paper that I had written the eulogy on and put it back in my purse. I walked back to my seat in the back of the church, along with a couple of Calum's friends, Ashton and Michael we met in when we were out for Chinese food, and Luke who lives down the hall. Neither of us had spoken to each other since we had entered the church, and it was okay, we were all there to pay respect for Calum, to say goodbye, to gain a closure from this.

I'm not afraid of deaths, I just don't want to be there when it happens, especially the ones involving someone I love a lot. And the love I have for Calum isn't going to die because he isn't here anymore, love doesn't die like that, it usually dies when there wasn't an actual person to fulfill the needs, but I didn't need Calum to still be here, if it was true love, it was able to carry on by the memories, by the things the person left behind. I gave him my heart, and he died, it doesn't mean that I will live with out a heart forever, he gave me his, we're holding each other's heart for now, till a day we meet again.

Soon, right? Calum?