Her Request

Chapter Thirty Two

Chapter 32

A week later.

APRIL

"So you think it's a favor?" I paused "So what? Poor April needs a babysitter since she can't get a grip?"

"You know that's not what I mean," Jordan said, his hands on his hips.

"I didn't force you to stay back at home and abandon your work. I don't even want you at home and you know what? I think it's high time I leave this place" I slowly retreated to go back to the bedroom

"Wait" he called out, slowly walking to cover the distance between us. "I am sorry April. I didn't mean to let this happen but please you're being too hard on me. You've grown distant and cold towards me. It's almost as if you've changed and I don't..."

"Love me anymore?" I cut him off "just say it point-blank Jordan."

"For God's sake April! Shut the fuck up and listen to me!"

And for the first time in never, Jordan raised his voice at me.
I have been feeling insecure since I saw the scars on my body and although I'd managed to keep them hidden by wearing covered clothing, I can't help but think of Jordan leaving me when he finds me unsuitable. There are so many hot girls who would take my place and before my heart breaks further, I intend to end this relationship of ours but he's not making it easy for me. I just need one leverage against him. Just one.

I can't accept what I've come to look like and I don't expect him to accept what's hard for me to embrace.

"I am sorry for raising my voice," He said apologetically.

"I think we need a breather. A space. We need to figure out if we are worth saving Jordan and for that to happen I need to leave here"

"Please April, don't shut me out" his voice was cracked, a hint of him breaking down inside. I wish I could be perfect for him. I wish I could. I used to be but no more. Not with all these things that have made me look unacceptable.

"I'm sorry Jordan but we have to do this. I have to do this. A week" I walked out and returned minutes later with my box.

"We can get through this, we will get through this but only together and not far apart"

I held on to the necklace he'd given me of recent and it made me remember the expensive watch he gifted me in Milan.

"Did you sleep with her?" That blurted out of my mouth uncontrollably. It was obvious the fact that Bel stayed in this house troubled me. I trust Jordan and at the same time doubt him.

"Bel? I have told you April nothing happened between us"

"We have- you have another room she could have slept in the house, why did she have to sleep on our- your bed?"

"She's only been there twice," He said breathlessly. "It's ours, April"

"Twice? She has stuff that'll last her a week in our- your closet Jordan. Did you like her? Did you develop feelings for her too as you did me?"

"Snap out of it April" He aggressively grabbed my shoulders and the effect stung deep into my bone. "What is wrong with you? Why are you being like this? Why are you trying to jump into conclusions and making us break apart?" He hugged me and this time, he had tears streaming down his face.

Seeing him hurt hurts me even more. Once he sees all the scars on my body he's going to leave me no doubt. I have to leave for both our happiness.

"Let me go Jordan" I forced myself out of his embrace and walked out the door. A part of me wanted him to chase me, run after me and tie me down if need be as long as I don't leave the premises of his life, and then the other part was praying he doesn't. I entered the cab and as the driver drove away, it was my turn to cry.