Mission 4419 (Mafia Ff) || Bang Chan ff || BOOK 2 OF FLOOR 4 ROOM 419

Cuarenta y Nueve

Written: August 1st 2020
Published: August 30th 2020

"Before we say goodbye, let go, but i am lost in the maze of my heart"
-Jungkook, BTS
Let go

Chan was already running through the big house with Yuna on his shoulder when flashbacks of Hyunjin floated back into her mind. 

When they first met in the hospital.

"Wow Chan you didn't lie. She really is beautiful" the handsome guy looked at her with big eyes.

When he first saw her cuts and helped her with her insecurities.

"Yuna listen, I got them too, okay? And don't think they make you uglier. They show the hard times we’ve been through and how strong we are today. There were times where we thought we were ugly or not as good as we should be. But the past is not important anymore. It's about the here and now. And right now, I think I am standing in front of the most beautiful and gorgeous girl, I have ever met." Hyunjin’s tears started to drop one by one.

When Hyunjin invited her to a picnic on the rooftop.

"Do you know what it feels like when you drown? When the surface disappears in the distance more and more with every second? When the density of the water slows every movement down? When you want to scream but no one can hear you? When the feeling in your chest gets tighter and tighter" He asked. 

Yuna just nodded. 

"It's a fight you have to do on your own. So I doubt that talking with somebody will help" Hyunjin said, bringing the cigarette to his mouth again. 

"No... You are wrong. Sometimes there is someone or something that reaches into the water and pulls you out of it. And I can be that someone Hyunjin, I won't let you drown. You are not alone" Yuna said. 

Hyunjin looked at her. His face turned into a smile. He got up and sat down directly next to her and pulled her into a tight hug but making sure the cigarette didn’t get too close to her. 

"I missed you. I really did. Thank you" Hyunjin said and buried his face in her neck. 

"Hyunjin.." Yuna whispered while the floor underneath her was constantly moving as Chan was running through the house with her on his shoulders. 

"I will always remember you," she whispered while her tears were still falling.

Yuna was staring at the moving landscape next to her while Chan was driving through the dark night. 

They have been on the road for five hours now. Seungmin, Felix and Changbin were in the car behind them and Minho and Jisung in the car in front of them. 

Yuna felt numb. Hours ago her tears stopped falling and with every minute the sadness inside of her grew and grew. 

Her throat was hurting from all the screaming. Chan had to force her into the car and locked her inside of it before going inside again to get some important things like money, their ID's and what he thought was the most important thing: their photo album in which they had collected their memories.

They all had just started their cars when the explosion could be heard. Yuna's eyes widened when she saw the big fire and the huge dark ash clouds rising up high into the sky.

She pleaded with Chan to stop the car but he ignored her and kept his eyes on the road. The other two cars continued driving as well. 

They had to be as fast as possible. Due to the forest that surrounded the huge mansion the fire wouldn't stay unnoticed for long. 

In those five hours of driving, too many thoughts ran through her mind. 

She blamed herself for Jeongin's death. She should have searched for him too. She shouldn't have underestimated the whole situation. She should have saved him since she was the only one who knew about the situation he was in. 

And then she blamed herself for letting Hyunjin go. She should have convinced him to stay with them. If he didn't go all by himself, he would maybe still be alive. 

"Stop blaming yourself for everything," Chan suddenly said after hours of silence. 

She looked at him confused. 
"How do you know what I was thinking?"

"When you are lost in your thoughts you tend to speak to yourself. Sorry for listening," Chan said. 

That was something Yuna had always hated about herself. She always talked to herself without noticing it and it had already brought her into embarrassing situations. 

"But it's true though..." Yuna said and leaned her head onto the window again.

Chan let out a sight. He placed his hand on her thigh and lightly squeezed it. 

"I kept blaming myself for losing Woojin too, you know. I locked myself into a prison of pain and after thinking about it too much I couldn't get out of there anymore. People tried to reach me. The boys tried to talk to me and comfort me but all I could think about was the past and how I could have acted differently. I isolated myself from them and hurt not only myself with that but also them. 
But you know... blaming yourself won't take you anywhere. It already happened and you can't change it anymore. The past is in the past and thinking about it too much would only be a waste of time. 
Don't let the chains of the past hold you back. Run towards the future." 

Tears started to fall again.

"But... I couldn't even say goodbye to them," Yuna sobbed. 

"Shhh. They are always with you-" Chan said but Yuna cut him off.

"I swear don't even think about that cheesy stuff-" 

"... in your heart," Chan said and laughed. 

Yuna groaned but laughed as well. She placed her hand on Chan's and looked outside again. After a while her eyes slowly closed and she drifted off to sleep.

1020 words

Special thanks to Leo_The_Lioness for editing and correcting my mistakes!☀️
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