Strong As Hell, Brave As Fuck || L.S.

(5)

I was dreading the moment harry will arrive. Do I look okay? Do I look over? I dont know.

The door bell rang, and I was the first one to rush and open the door, revealing a harry with everything black as his attire. Might I admit, he looked fucking beautiful. But I composed myself remembering all that we have, and let him in without saying a word.

The thing is, me and harry were together earlier. It was perfect, everything. Me and him were content. Only if the bloody management didnt ruin it all. They made us sign contracts, manipulating us for the sake of the band and the boys' career, and we did thought It'd never change what we had. But it all was a lie, they got us girlfriends. I feel terrible remembering, but we became distant, and it got awkward. Finally we busted all the emotions that was bottled up, putting to an end to our relationship. But when I realized it was nothing, and I loved harry with all my heart, it was too late. He was distant. This still makes me cry my eyes out sometimes but I keep it cool for myself.

He would let management control his date life. He would go on dating many models and actresses, or even famous singers. Sometimes he would invite them to our gigs. Intentionally? I can't say. He would kiss them right in the same room as all of us. They'd be all touching and grinding discreetly. The frustration made me break contract with eleanor. I thought he'd stop after it. But he didnt. He continued. At last, everyone moved on from us, ignoring us like we were never together. But my eyes were wide open. My eyes were always wide open to see my self devastation. My self loathe. My harry. Not mine anymore.

So to say this was awkward would e be an understatement. The last time at the party, I literally threw myself on harry, begging him to fuck me, and get back together. It was all a drunken state shit. Harry never brought that up. But zayn sure does use that to mock me about my state, and the things I blurted out infront of all of them.