Steve Rogers X Reader Oneshots // Drabbles

His happiness

Summary: if she could fool the world, then one day she could also come to deceive herself as well because all that truly mattered was his happiness.

Warning: Spoiler for Endgame.

(f/n) looked at him, her heart clenching, ready to burst with the merciless force it was being gripped with. It was a pain she hadn't come to imagine, and she thought of how ironic it could be that something that had brought her so much joy, could also be the reason for her most agonizing sorrow. But even so, she put on a smile, because deep within her heart, pushing past the aching was also a feather-light joy. It was what kept her functioning, what kept her standing.

That single joy that existed...

And it was that he was happy...

'That's all that matters,' she thought to herself, backing away, her steps small and staggered as she continued to look over at the aged man. He had a small smile over his elderly face as he sat on the bench, his old-time friend Bucky Barnes sitting beside him, happily catching up.

'He deserves it all...' She added.

She was about to turn when a touch landed on her, making her stop immediately, sucking in a hard breath. Sam touched a hand to her shoulder, making her look towards him instead, her neck craning to look back as she came to a halt.

"You alright?" he asked, his voice softened as he looked at her with dark roast colored eyes. Her lips pressed together while the corners of her mouth rose up to form a strained smile.

"He's happy," she said softly.

"I know," he replied back, his hand gliding down to the middle of her back, giving her circular motion creases.

"But I asked if you were alright, " he clarified.

Releasing a breathy sound of amusement, she dropped her head, hanging it, "I know," she said shakily, feeling tears glide down her cheeks.

"I know..." she repeated again with a long sniffle.

" You're not going to go say anything?" he asked her. "I know you want to talk to him, I'm sure he'd love to see you," he told her.

"No...there's nothing to say," she murmured, turning away to the direction she had wanted to head before he interrupted her, her back facing the former Avenger.

"There's nothing he needs to hear from me. Everything... Absolutely everything he's needed...He's wanted... He's lived through." she explained. "Besides, I'm a part of the past, and I'll stay there where I belong," she said lowly, her voice barely above a whisper as she said the words. Perhaps it was selfish, and if anything would be proof enough that she didn't deserve him. She knew she could never face him again, that she wouldn't be able to hold herself together.

"It's not his fault, I would have done the same, and if anything, he deserves it," she admitted, "But you know... I can't help but wonder if this his how he felt," she said, touching her right hand to her chest. " During all that time without her... is this how much it hurt?" she asked Sam, asking the wrong man for answers.

"It hasn't even been a day and I feel like something deep within my chest is seconds away from snapping," she explained, " almost like the little pieces holding my heart together are being ripped apart," she continued.

"I wonder if this is the same feeling that made his face fall. if this is everything he chose to keep to himself," she wondered, " If it is...I hope that now there's nothing left of it, not even the reminiscence of it..." she told him.

'I wanted to be the one to make you happy. I wanted to be the one to make you forget that pain... And I would always say I'd give it all to be able to take it as my own... to somehow take that hurt and give it a place within my own heart to save yours.' She mused. ' How funny, because now...I suppose in a way, I'm doing just that... Now I understand why you carried that locket, why you carried her everywhere you went. Because from now on, I'll do the same. I'll carry you in my chest, and I'll love you... always.'

"He's happy," she said again, "And I should be too," she added, whipping off the remains of her sorrow with her right hand.

'But I'm not...' she thought to herself, yet putting on a brave face. Because if she could fool the world, then one day she could also come to deceive herself as well.

"Maybe one day," she said with empty faith, knowing her words weren't even worth the dirt she was standing on.

Shaking his head as he stared at the back of the (h/c) haired young woman, he went along to match his steps with her. Walking in silence he saved her the questions, wholeheartedly hoping that day would come for her.

AU: Though there is some heavy conflict with that ending w/ Peggy and Steve, it's beautiful, and I'm truly happy he got his girl.