Suicide

Chapter 3

Right when I walked in, there was a note with a bloody hand print. I ran to the note and opened it read
"Hanna why are you still alive? In a couple of days I want you to kill yourself. You don't deserve to be here anymore! Everybody hates you and nobody wants you here!! So just kill yourself or bad things will happen!!"
I was scared. I wanted to commit suicide I really did but I didn't want to be forced to. All my life I've been waiting for the day I could commit suicide. Maybe the note was right! Maybe I should commit suicide, it's not like anybody would miss me...But my boyfriend and my Mom. Wait forget that they're just fake EVERYBODY is fake! Oh my god I want to die! They all wanted me to die, nobody truly cared about me anyways. All these thoughts ran through my head over and over again. I decided to run upstairs to my room. I sat on my bed as tears rolled down my cheeks and splashed onto my hands. I opened up a drawer and lifted up; a book, a mirror a pack of make up wipes and than I grabbed the razor. I snapped it in half and took the 4 razor blades out. I still had fresh cuts from the other day but I still felt the need to cut. I cut my leg over and over, as my leg turned numb I heard the front door open. I put the broken razor blades away, pulled up my pants and went downstairs. My mom was home, she looked at me smiled and walked into the kitchen. I went into the kitchen and asked her how her day was, she didn't reply she just took things out of her lunch bag and put the items away. I asked her again, this time she slammed her hand down and yelled "JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!" I didn't know what I did wrong I was just concerned about my moms day...so I ran upstairs into my room and slammed my door shut. Why do I even try? I want to have friends and I want my mom to understand. But everything I do is wrong, I do what they ask but when I do it's wrong. I can't do anything thing right! I sat there looking at myself in the mirror. I got so mad at how I was so ugly and fat, no wonder why everybody hates me! I punched my mirror and my fist was bleeding and my mirror was shattered. There was tiny pieces of glass all over my floor, I tried to get up but I knew I'd step on glass. So, I walked on my tip toes across the tiny pieces of glass and I didn't get any glass on my foot. I vacuumed up my mess and than went down to the living room. I turned on the television and went straight to Netflix, typed in American Horror Story and clicked on Freak Show episode 4. This was my favorite show because Evan Peters was in it and he's outstanding! He was one of the people who made me happy. I was tired of American Horror Story so I shut it off, went up stairs and wanted to take a nap. I was playing on my phone and at 5:46 I fell asleep. I woke up to me gasping for air. What happened? What's going on!! I was screaming. I was in a car, locked in a car.