My Someone

Chapter 13

Trevor's POV

I am watching Charlie walk back to her house.

She sits in her driveway instead of walking inside. She puts her head on her hands and I watch a boy with shaggy dirty blonde hair and freckles begin to talk to her.

I feel my stomach begin to get itself into a knot and I tell myself to calm down.

I decide to just sit down on the couch.

I sigh and concentrate on my breathing, ever since my anxiety began I have learned to do this and sometimes it helps, other times it just makes me more stressed.

I concentrate on my thoughts.

How do I feel? How does she feel? What if she doesn't feel the way I do? How can I even think like this when I know her better than I know myself?

Nothing makes sense anymore and the more I think the more I feel my anxiety take me over.

And my mind goes blank.

I can't think, I don't have any consciousness of anything happening around me.

Panic takes me over, I see things but I can't process what they are or why they have are happening.

And then I come back.

Remembering everything.

It has never been so bad before and I feel tears form in my eyes.

Why can't I learn to control myself? Why do I let my anxiety get to me? I don't understand it.

And the next thing I know, I am crying.

I don't know why but I am crying and I don't care who sees, I just need to let my emotions out somehow, right now this seems like the best way.

I roll up into a ball on the couch and cry into my hands, letting my emotions overtake me.

And for some reason I don't think I can spend the rest of winter break at the o2l hose like I planned on doing.

I don't stop crying as I call my mom.

She picks up on the first ring.

"Yes Trevor?" She asks

"Mom, I don't think I'll be able to stay here, I don't know why but I miss home even though it's not far. will you pick me up?" I say.

I know my house is so close that I could walk but somehow I don't think I could make it that far without having another break down.

I sit there in the silence and cry more.

I just can't contain myself

My mother pulls up into the driveway and I run into the car, taking the passenger seat.

I try not to look at her, feeling ashamed of myself.

My mom looks at me and seems very concerned "Trevor, honey, what's wrong?" She says with a very motherly tone.

"It's the anxiety mom, it's just getting worse. I was compleatly unaware of my surroundings and....." i find myself unable to talk anymore.

She looks at me and takes my hand. "We will get this figured out" she says.

'If only we could' I think sadly.

A/N- I thought this was a really great chapter, what do yall think? Please tell me how I can improve my writing and other stuff, I want this story to be as good as possible.
~Lily❂