My Dom or My Mate?

Chapter 46

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Chapter 46

Weak & Wounded

Holden POV

I'm a dick.

I'm a useless fucking dick of a mate!

Nothing anyone else says can make me feel any worse than I already do.

Seeing Lizzie hooked up to machines, a blood transfusion and an oxygen mask is what hurts the most.

Knowing I could've stopped this!

This is all a million times worse because of Lizzie's blood condition; Thrombo.. bo? Oh I don't know, the reduced blood count condition thing. If she had told someone what was happening, we would've been able to deal with this sooner.

Now she's back in hospital, fighting for her life.

Fighting.. Something I never did.

Yeah I'm having a pity party!

You're welcome to join!?

I felt right throughout our honeymoon, actually throughout our whole relationship that Lizzie preferred Dean over me..

He knows her better, he's known her longer than I have and we don't have that deep connection that they share so openly.

Dean knows how Lizzie is feeling just by looking at her.

I just pulled away as soon as we came home from our honeymoon..

No matter what I say or do, I'll never be as good for Lizzie as Dean it.

I can't satisfy her in the bedroom, or attend to her emotional needs.

Dean and Lizzie have private jokes, and secrets I know nothing about.

I could never get my way into Lizzie's heart the way Dean could.

I'm lost.

Dean is totally ignoring me, just pushing me out.

My parents and sister are pissed at me too.

This was all my fault.

Not only did Lizzie lose her baby, but she might not even make it through the night due to the loss of blood.

I need someone!

Something to keep me holding on.

A loud screeching bleeping sound fills the air and doctors and nurses swarm into Lizzie's room.

I just stare, my mouth open wide at the monitor which shows Lizzie has flatlined. Her heart has stopped beating.

I can't bring myself to move, scream or fight.

My wolf howls in pain as I feel our connection to Lizzie slip away.

Regrets.

That's all I can think of..

All the regrets.

How I should've spent more time with my mate.

How I should've made a bond with other, other than our mating bond.