Joseph lay in the grass staring up at the stars, the calm autumn breeze brushed against his skin as thoughts flooded his mind like an open dam. He remembered falling so helplessly from the sky and seeing the entire world around him coming in closer and closer yet somehow he still survived his fall. Now that everything was said and done, all he could think about was Caesar. Suzie Q had taken great care of him and he knew that he loved her, yet somewhere deep in his heart when he was alone all he would think about was Caesar. He didn't know if it were right or wrong but the time he'd spent with Caesar had been the best time of his life. He resented himself for not being there to help Caesar at his last battle and remembered hopelessly scrambling through the rubble hoping his friend were sleeping or simply stuck. Once he saw the blood pool out beneath the stones he knew that Caesar was gone and he was drawn back to the heartbroken feeling that hadn't left him for months. Even after he'd avenged Caesar and done all he could, he could never come to terms with the fact that someone he cared for so much had really gone so fast. He gripped the grass that he sat on and took a deep breath before tears started their route down his cheeks, the salt stinging his already red face from the cold weather. He was surrounded by fallen leaves and cold, crisp air and he hung with heartache, his tears dripped to his clothing and the grass he sat on.
"Caesar..." He muttered and the name wrenched his chest to a burning, empty sensation. God how could humans feel emotions so fatal? He sighed shakily, his breath crystalized as it escaped him before he stood, staring up at the passing clouds.
"God damnit, Caesar!" He cried out and heard his voice echo like a ghost reaching out to his friend. He wanted to fall to his knees and sob, just like he did back then. He wanted to see the blondes smile one more time. He remembered the small pink birthmarks on his cheeks and imagined kissing them and holding Caesar close, even if Caesar was nagging at him for hugging too tight. He wanted to feel Caesar in his arms as the night passed and the constant connection of Caesars skin against his.
He felt the tears rushing him and a heavy pressure on his chest. Warmth surrounded him and he quickly found himself smiling, the tears fading but he was still sad. He couldn't control his own function and no matter how hard he tried to cry, the warmth stayed and he felt safe. The presence felt familiar, and homely to him. He felt like no one could hurt him in this state and he looked up at the clouds again, a wirey sigh escaped him and he hiccuped from his earlier sob. He felt the warmth of the sun on his cheeks and it felt like a tight hug encased him. He collected himself and started his walk home, the warmth encasing him the whole way. Since that day, everytime he grew sad or missed Caesar so much the warmth surrounded him again and it didn't take him long to realize that he wasn't alone, and that Caesar was watching over him the whole way.
