Fall Here

Fall Here 4: Social Anxiety (Sienna)

After getting our packets, Stacey let me finally drive the U-Haul closer to our building. I am giving a silent prayer of thanks for the ability to share a room with my best friend and my only support system. As I park the truck, I looked out to see the families assisting their students in the moving process. The scene before me started making me feel uneasy and depressed.

I didn't have to say anything and as if reading my quietness, Stacey reached over and squeezed my arm to remind me she as there. "Si, look at me." I did as she asked. She placed her hands on both sides of my face and started the breathing exercise the doctors told me to do. Once I regulated my breathing, she reassured me. "We got this. We are in this together." Stacey opened her door and I hung back, taking a few more deep breaths to compose myself. 'Fake it till I make it.' I reminded myself as I got out and grabbed a box out of the back.

We found our room, 310. As we opened the door, we walked down the hall into the common living room. I placed my things on the floor near the laundry room and went exploring. I walked back the kitchen and common living room. 'On suite laundry and kitchen, cool.' As I turned around to see the first bedroom off the living room we walked in, I noticed the room was bare. The bathroom was off to the right of the door. I walked out the room and towards the laundry room again to the second bedroom, noticed Stacey already laid claim to it. I shook my head and chuckled to myself and picked up my box taking it to my room.

I didn't have a lot I brought with me to Patterson, but I did have to go to the U-Haul and pick up my last box. As I'm exiting the building, I run into a familiar stranger. "Oomph" I fell forward and he caught me as he helped me back to my feet, "I'm so sorry, I need to watch where I'm going." His eyes met mine. 'No, no, no' my mind rushed. My anxiety started to build again being in close proximity to a guy. I couldn't think straight and just headed towards the U-Haul. He got my name right, but I just wanted to get my box. I could hear his footsteps following mine into the parking lot.

"Do you need help?" He asked, as I pulled the tailgate closed.

I shook my head "This is the last box." I answered and started back toward the dorms. He again followed me back. He held the door open for me and I quietly thanked him before quickly making my way to the elevator. I got back to my suite and I had noticed that Stacey was already setting up the shared living space. "All done with your room huh?"

"Yeah." She answered glancing at the box in my hands. "You need any help?"

I looked back over my few boxes and I shook Stacey off, "Nah it's only a couple boxes. It won't take me long." It took me a couple of hours to get my room set up the way I wanted.

I had thrown the last of my boxes into the recycle bin and when a familiar figure came up to me, "Hi Rylee." I greeted.

"Hey Sienna, how is moving day going?" She asked, throwing her own boxes into the recycle.

I couldn't tell this person the truth, so I went with my canned ready-made answer, "Pretty good."

Hoping the answer would suffice and she would just let me walk back to the suite. It was too much to ask, "This year I'm Smith Hall's resident advisor, we are having a 'Welcome to Smith Hall' party at seven o'clock tonight. It's a mixer to get to know everyone, hope you'll join us."

'Not on your life, I will be up in my room hopefully.' I thought to myself, "Sure, I might be a little later than seven, as I have to meet with my advisor and return the U-Haul."

"No problem, see you there." Rylee cheerful smiled, before turning on her heel heading back towards the hall.

I headed towards the Administration building to meet with Ms. Johnson, my advisor. I hadn't been able to come to orientation due to that fateful night, but this was a make-up meeting. It wasn't' hard to find Ms. Johnson's name on the directory, but the halls were a jumbled puzzle that made up the inside of the building. I took a couple of wrong turns before finding her door. I knocked softly before waiting to be told come in.