Finding myself

𝕺𝖓𝖊

My alarm goes off as I wake up with my heart racing and heavy breaths.

6:15AM

I sit up and stare at the wall across my room trying to calm myself down. It's been a year and yet that night still haunts me. My flashbacks start and I try to shake my head to get my mind off of it. I run my fingers through my hair as I lift up my shirt to see my scar.

"Battle scars really don't fade away huh?" I mumble to myself as I take my covers off of me and proceed to get up out of bed.

I dig in my closet trying to find a good outfit but soon give up. I throw a pair of sweatpants, tank top, and a sweater on the bed. I contemplate on the outfit, figuring out what shoes would go with it.

"Good morning!" my sister says as she steps into my room, her smile fades and turns into a more concerned look.

"Another nightmare?" she asks.

I nod my head as she wraps her arm around me.

"At least you're trying to sleep again, darling." She smiles and rubs my back.

If only she knew.

"It gets hard, you know?" I say as I grab my towel and make my way to the bathroom.

I turn the water on and place my phone on the counter. I start scrolling through songs, and decide to just open my playlist and play it. I begin to strip off my clothes and then enter the shower. I slowly relax as the water makes its way down my body. I zone out and start to think about most of the things in my life.

"Angie hurry up and get out!", my brother, Myles, says while knocking on the door.

Lovely.

I shut the water off and pull the shower curtain aside, I then wrap my towel around my body and press 'pause' on my phone. I then begin to brush my teeth.

"Evangeline, can you be any slower?" Myles complains.

"Myles, can you be any less annoying?" I grab my things and unlock the door.

He smiles and gently pushes by me to enter the bathroom.

"The world may never know." He says jokingly.

I proceed to make my way to the bedroom and shut the door behind me. I put my hair up and then begin to get ready. It's about to be a long day, I feel it. My sister walks in again.

"Are you ready? Breakfast is on the table downstairs." She says kindly.

"You know I don't eat at this time of the day, it makes me nauseous" I said as I finished getting ready.

I put my hair up into a bun and do a quick mirror check.

"Can you grab my bag Izzy?" She nods and grabs it as we both head downstairs.

"Morning girls! Where's Myles? " Dad asks.

Isabella points upstairs and then sits at the table. I dig through the fridge and pull out the Orange juice carton and pour some into a cup.

"So Dad, are you planning on letting us go to the Halloween Fair this year?" Izzy asks.

I take a sip of my drink as my eyes go from her to him. He has a hesitant look. We've went to the festival every year since we were kids, but a lot of things changed since last year. It's one of the most dangerous nights here in Pleasantville, a lot of officers are on duty that day.

"Do you think you girls are prepared enough to go this year?" he asks as he takes a sip of his morning coffee.

His concern isn't towards Isabella, it's more so towards me.

"I'll be fine, we'll be with a group of friends."

"So, you'll let us go?" Izzy asks.

My dad gives her a slight nod and she jumps up in joy, her smile reaching each cheek on her face.

"Thank you, thank you, thank you!"

"Am I missing something?" Myles asks as he walks down.

Izzy glares at him and pushes the table seat in.

"Not much, just that dads letting us go this year", I say.

"That's what's up", he says as he stands by the door waiting on us.

*honk*

"That's us! Bye dad", I say as we grab our things and make our way outside and into Raphael's car.

Isabella greets him with a kiss and Myles daps him up.

"Hey Angie!" He says.

I give him a slight smile and place my bag on my lap. I pull out my phone and connect my headphones to the Bluetooth and start playing music as I navigate through apps.

"Did you ask your dad, babe?" Raphael asks.

Isabella nods. "He said yes, but you know him. He'll most likely set some rules before the day comes".

I look out the window and stare at the clouds as I then begin to daydream. Just wish I could begin to get my happy ending.

It's a pretty grey and chilly day. We pass a lot of buildings and houses before one catches my eye. 333. An angel number. I've been seeing a lot of repeating numbers lately hoping it's a sign that things will soon get better.

"Angie?"

A voice interrupts my thoughts. I realize it was Myles.

"Oh snap, sorry I zoned out."

"It's okay. I understand it's hard. We're here." He says as Raphael pulls up to the building that will forever change my life.

We begin to head our separate ways, approaching our lockers. I take out the books I need for 1st, 2nd, and 3rd period and place them in my bag.

" Hey Angie!" Penelope says as she approaches me.

She's like the mom of the group, so small yet feisty and caring, I wish I was more like her at times.

"Hey penny!" I shut my locker and we begin to walk to class.

"Is everything getting better?" she asks with a concerned look.

"The vivid dreams still come here and there, haven't had an anxiety attack in a while though.."

"That should be a good sign then, you know that if you ever need anything all you have to do is call or text me."

"I know, Pen", I say as we hear the bell ring.

I watch the hallways start clearing up and become silent as we step foot into the classroom. I sit in the back and Penelope sits besides me. The students begin to fill the classroom with bickering and divided conversations.

This is about to be one hell of a day.