Finding myself

𝕰𝖑𝖊𝖛𝖊𝖓

"You have to stop avoiding him, Ang", my sister begs and I shake my head.

I haven't spoken to Marquis since the party, he told me the day after what had went down since I didn't remember much and I didn't know how to feel about it. I told him I was drunk and that he probably was too, so we couldn't have meant what we said.

"It's weird now", I shrug.

"Because you confessed your feelings?"

"I did not confess anything, I was drunk."

"Exactly, Evangeline." I furrow my eyebrows, she hadn't called me by my first name in a long time.

"I'm not going to speak to him, end of discussion!" I barked.

She clenched her jaw and walked out of my room, shutting the door behind her. I didn't understand why she was so upset, I was pretty sure I decide what I wanna do with myself.

I sucked my teeth and turned the Tv on. My phone vibrated and I see it's a message from Travis.

Travis

Hey Angie..
How you holding up?

He hadn't texted me since Christmas, I guessed he was just too busy trying to make his girl happy. I lock my phone, leaving him without a response and proceed to watch a movie on Netflix.

As I'm watching the movie a love scene comes on and I began to think about Marquis. I do feel something for him, but I knew I wasn't enough. He has a whole life ahead of him, I don't have anything worked out yet. I had to distance myself because the feelings only got stronger. I also didn't wanna lose our friendship, if we ended up not working out then I'd be losing both my closest friend and
significant other all in one.

I regretted telling him I needed some time to think about a few things because I'd usually go to him and tell him the things I need help with but how do I tell him I need help losing feelings for him? It's impossible. Isabella knew exactly how I felt, and that's what annoyed her the most.

I hear my door collide with the wall as it flew open. God who was it now? I pressed pause on the movie.

"So you thought you could just ignore my message and not get beat up?" I turn around to see Travis with his arms crossed.

"Aren't you always 'too busy' with your girlfriend?"

He frowned, "who said that?"

"Just what I figured", I shrugged.

"Move over", he demanded as he made his way into my bed, I slightly moved and sit up.

"What do you want Travis?"

"To be with my Bestfriend, duh?" He pursed his lips to the side.

"Yea yea, whatever" I say as I resume the movie and he smiles.

"Have you spoke to Marquis?"

My nostrils flared, why was he the only thing people brought up when trying to continue a conversation with me, "No."

"How's it going with Simone?" I added, attempting to change the subject.

"It's good, as of right now she's all a guy could ask for."

I feel my heart sink to my stomach, "oh."