An Unhealthy Addiction (Draco X Reader)

Chapter 18

He smiled at me, tugging a piece of my hair that had blown astray back behind my ear. I look up at his breathtaking eyes, his platinum hair falling in all the right places against his pale face, his sharp jawline that I could probably cut myself on, his broad shoulders. 

"I think that we should," Malfoy broke the silence as I looked at the water in front of us. We were sitting in the tall grass, Draco leaning back on his arm, watching me, and myself with my knees slightly raised. I lay back and returned the stare.  

"We should what," my silky voice surprised even myself with the amount of composure in my words.

"Get married. Our parents want us to anyway," My eyes widened as the words left his mouth, but I wasn't sad he had said them, I was sad he brought up our parents. 

"I think we should too," I was even more astonished and happy and surprised by the words that had come out of my own mouth. He leaned down and kissed me gently, as if scared I would break, like I was porcelain. He looked at me and spoke words I almost wanted to be framed so that I could look at them.  

"I love you," 

I bolted upright in my bed, my breathing fast and my heartbeat even faster.  I couldn't decide whether to be horrified of my dream, or try to decipher it. My dream was right though, our parents would love it, and I was regaining feelings for that son of a bitch. 

This fact haunted me for the rest of the day. I wondered what I must do to get rid of those horrid emotions, and if I even wanted to.  By mid day, I was going out of my mind, we had had a pop quiz during transfiguration, and although I'm an awfully good student, I barely got through it. Next class was potions and I couldn't put up with all that. I meandered to the quidditch field, hopping on the broom I had hidden on grounds for this purpose, to fly away from my thoughts. Today it was less to run away from them, but to face them and decide what the hell I wanted. It was cold by now, snowflakes falling over my clothes, melting as they hit my coat. 

After flying about for hours, the only thing I had come to understand at this point was how badly I missed being loved. I hated being so strong all of the time, pretending that my family was perfect. How did anyone possibly fall for our act, they hated me. I was a powerful pawn in fathers game, but something in me loved it, which scared me even more. I loved the feeling of power over everyone, even if it was scaled back until father made his move. I loved the protection I would always receive as long as I lived. But the fact came crashing over all others, I had grown to not only have others fear me, I had grown to fear myself. 

I moped back to my room to find an owl perched on my window sill. It's shiny black eyes stared at me, holding a piece of perfectly rolled parchment in its mouth. I grabbed a treat from my dresser table and carefully took the parchment from it's mouth, replacing it with the treat. The grey owl seemed to accept this and flew away. I slowly recognized my family seal and sighed, it was about time I suppose. 

You are to help with the vanishing cabinet. This is not an option, it is an order. You will be staying over break to mend it. Room of requirement. 

It was my fathers handwriting, the slightly slanted cursive staring at me, the force in his words evident. I hadn't really been wanting to leave Hogwarts anyways. I shrugged off my coat and replaced it with a Slytherin robe that had been pressed and was still warm when I put it on, help of the house elves no doubt. I started my walk to the Room of Requirement. I had sat in on some of fathers meetings, enough at least to know what he was doing and why I needed to mend the cabinet.  I entered the room to find Malfoy, sitting in front of the cabinet, looking utterly defeated. His eyes shot up at me as the door closed.