What You Never Had

Chapter 4

Kissing Jin was the most blissful act you could ever have imagined. Of that you had absolutely no doubt. Not that you had another man's kiss to use as a frame of reference. Jin was the only person you had kissed, but this kiss was unlike the kisses you'd shared with him before. His hand cradled the back of your neck as he pressed his lips to yours. The palm placed on your back kept you in place; in fact, it made it impossible for there to be any space between you. Your fists were bunched into his uniform, enjoying the way every part of you was crushed against him, and a soft moan sounded in the back of your throat. The signs of reciprocation spurred him on, making him angle his head to kiss you even more deeply, as if he intended to suck your soul out so he could place it next to your heart that he'd already claimed as his.

Finally he was forced to release you as his lungs screamed for air. "Wow," he panted, still holding on to you.

"Mmm," was your only response before you dragged him into another passionate kiss.

There was no doubt that you could have spent an eternity kissing Jin if it was not for the sound of footsteps approaching the door, causing both of you to jump apart. One of your royal escorts entered and you tried to breathe normally. Biting on your lower lip that you were sure was slightly swollen from the force of Jin's kisses, you acknowledged the new entry with a nod.

If he had noticed that both you and Jin were chasing your breaths, he didn't show it. "Everything is ready, Your Highness. Shall we return to the castle?"

Your heart rate was slowing down to a normal pace as you realised that he was none the wiser to what had gone on in the room just before he entered, but you still cleared your throat before you answered in the affirmative. Following him out the door, you caught Jin's eye and smiled and you were actually excited when he returned it. Perhaps everything would turn out all right after all.

Even though you didn't get another moment in private with him after that incident, you found that it didn't bother you very much. Just the fleeting looks and secret smiles you exchanged with him were enough to keep you on cloud nine. Perhaps it was just your imagination, but you thought that his face positively lit up every time he caught your eyes, and you were pretty sure that you were reacting the exact same way when you looked at him.

There was no doubt that the return of the warm Jin that you loved had you feeling better in weeks, the complete turnabout from his detached attitude since he discovered your identity relieving you from worry and stress. The first one to comment upon the improvement in your mood was Jimin. Having lost to Namjoon in a sword fight, he walked towards the table where you sat while your eldest brother started sparring with the master of swords behind him.

"What is going on with you lately, little mouse?" He asked, taking a seat across the table from you.

You placed your needlework down to narrow your eyes at him. Dealing with Jimin would require all of your concentration and truthfully it wasn't like you were paying the project much attention anyway. Watching your brothers move gracefully, brandishing their weapons in their hands in intricate, dangerous dances had always been more intriguing than any feminine pastimes that you sometimes took up. "Whatever do you mean?" You asked innocently.

"You know what I mean," he commented without looking at you, his eyes on the fight playing out before him. "You've been really chipper lately."

Letting out a fake gasp of indignation, you answered, "Is it wrong for me to be happy?"

"No, I —"

"Would you rather have me miserable?"

"No, of course n—"

"What kind of brother are you, to wish such a horrible fate on his only sister —"

Jimin made an exasperated noise and you giggled, amused that you had managed to annoy him and relieved to dodge his question at the same time. "Of course I want you to be happy, but do you have to be so irritating?"