What You Never Had

Chapter 6

He loves me.

That one delightful thought still stood out amongst the many memories you made with Jin that night, days after it happened. The sight of him carrying out his duties, even from afar, made you smile. When his delectable lips curled upwards from a close distance, yours followed suit. Just the thought of him made you delirious, basically. He didn't need to be within your sights to make you feel like you were on cloud nine. You had fallen so deeply for him.

"Did something happen?" Jimin's voice pierced through your euphoric thoughts. You looked at him, startled from your daydream.

"Why do you ask?"

"You've been staring into space and grinning to yourself like an idiot a lot lately," he said teasingly. "So, did something happen?"

This conversation seemed eerily familiar, but this time instead of finding a way to evade his question, you turned away from his inquisitive gaze. "Nothing happened," you lied even as your cheeks started to burn at the thought of what transpired that night between you and Jin.

Doubt was evident in Jimin's supposedly non-committal hum at your answer, but thankfully he didn't pursue the matter. Trying to ignore his eyes boring into the side of your skull as you glared determinedly at the garden from your balcony, you asked awkwardly, "So... what were we talking about?"

"You looking so obnoxiously happy these past few days for no reason, apparently," he deadpanned, finally making you flash your glare in his direction.

"I meant before that," your words came out between gritted teeth.

"Nothing, we just sat down, remember?" He cackled, satisfied that he got a rise out of you. "Actually I came here to ask if you'd like to accompany me tomorrow."

"Where to?" As far as you could recall, Jimin had plans the next day. A commitment that didn't involve you.

"The National Library."

That you remembered. Regret had filled you when you heard that it had not been taken care of well by the previous director. The matter had only come to attention when a new director had taken over and received complaints that the old one had brushed aside. "Weren't you supposed to go with Namjoon?"

"I was, but something came up and now he's too busy to go," those pouty words were accompanied by a bland face. You'd doubt that Jimin was unaffected by Namjoon's inability to accompany him, but you knew that Jimin wasn't that petty. Besides, both of you had noticed that the eldest had been occupied lately, although you hadn't been able to ask him what had kept his time filled. As it was, you could only help him whenever you could. This was another chance for you to do so.

That was how, instead of whiling the afternoon by yourself after lunch the next day, you sat in front of the mirror in your room to get ready for the visit to the National Library. As you applied a little rouge on your lips, you heard Ji Eun calling behind you, "Have you ever worn these? They look new."

Attention piqued by her question, you set the makeup down to turn around and look at the dark blue shoes she was holding up. Recognition sparked in your eyes when you remembered where the beautiful pair of heels came from. "They are a birthday present from Jimin," you explained, moving to sit on the other side of the plush stool you were sitting on and extending your hand up for them. "I meant to wear them at the coming of age ceremony, but—"

"They are too big," Ji Eun finished for you as she watched you slip the right one on.

"I think I'll wear them today." To the surprise of your lady-in-waiting, you took the other shoe and stuck your left foot into it.