What You Never Had

Chapter 13

This cannot be happening.

You wanted to avert your gaze, but your eyes remained locked on Jimin's, wide with inability to accept reality. Not that it would've mattered if you could; there was no taking back what your brother had seen. But when he started striding towards you, it was as if your heart jumped back to life, immediately working into a pace that couldn't be natural. The rush of adrenaline urged you forward, stumbling clumsily like someone had pushed you from behind, to put as much distance as you could from Jin's room as you met Jimin halfway through the hall. Not that you wanted to rush towards the inevitable encounter, but anything to distance yourself from Jin's room. Acting like a thief that had been caught red-handed made you feel awful, but you couldn't think of anything else in the split second that you had.

"What are you doing here at this time of night?" Jimin's harsh tone, unfamiliar to your ears, made you shrivel up inside.

It wasn't as if you'd never considered the likely possibility with which you could get caught visiting Jin, but pushing away the imagination of it happening was nothing like having it actually happen. And you were powerless to evade it now. You couldn't turn back time. Yet for all the preparations you thought you'd made, you found yourself at a loss. All the excuses you'd thought up in case this happened seemed so feeble in the face of your brother. Weak syllables tumbled from your lips in a stutter, each of them broken from a non-existing word just for the sake of not remaining quiet.

Then Jimin's eyes flicked in the direction of Jin's room, and you finally gathered enough wits to say something. "I— I was just ta-taking a stroll." It wasn't anything very intelligible, but the idea of Jimin making the connection and figuring out the real reason you were out and about at this time of night sent you into a panic.

However, Jimin wasn't easy to fool, no matter how much you wished otherwise, just this one time. "Did you go to your Royal Guard's room?"

Your breath caught, heart squeezed in terror at his accurate guess. With your mind drawing a blank, whatever lie you could think of would be useless at this point, and you had no idea what to do. In the end, all you could say was the only thing that was on your mind; "Can we talk about this somewhere else?"

Part of you were afraid that Jimin wouldn't agree to it, even though there was no reason for him to say no. It was just that everything had gone so horribly wrong in just that one second that you expected your unlucky streak would continue. But Jimin was not in a hurry to make a scene, glancing around and remembering where you were. He nodded, then motioned for you to follow him. Knowing that it was useless to run, you trudged after him anxiously, a mixture of negative emotions settling in within you but a strength that remained from being protective of your love towards Jin keeping you from completely giving up.

Yet when he led you inside his chambers, you were still struggling to find a way to hide the truth from him. You were careful to remain several steps behind him all the way there, but after he opened the door for you, he strode over directly in front of you. The door closed shut with a click that was final to your ears. There was nowhere to hide. Still, it was painful to meet Jimin's eyes. The brother that had always been loving towards you, even though oftentimes hidden behind his teasing ways, was nowhere to be seen. In his place was the handsome man who looked just like him, but with brows you never knew could slant so disapprovingly, with a stare that was cold, with jaw set so stiffly you could imagine his teeth being grounded together, his lips pursed to ready himself to shoot down any excuse you might think of. This Jimin made you feel small. He made you scared. The person you would run to when you wanted comfort was now the same man who made you feel like crying. And you had no one to turn to.

Shaking, you decided that he might be more forgiving if you came forth with the information without further prompting. "I went to check on him because he seemed upset." You figured that it was best to stick to the truth, as any lie you could think of would not be convincing. Hopefully by omitting most of it out, you could scrape by without getting into too much trouble.