I Hate You I Love You | K.th X Reader

Chapter 20

Y/n pov :

I stood up swiftly ,and just when I was about to walk way , Taehyung gripped my wrist .

He pulled me back to the couch , right in front of his face , which was all worried and concerned , and it made me feel like ...maybe there was someone who cared for me ... And just then he pulled me even closer , his eyes set on my face , and mine flung opened , his deep , heavy breathe brushing against my skin , and
my heart , skipping a several beats at a time . And ...now...he spoke , in his deep voice ," Listen y/n ... You're not what you think you are ... No one hates no , NO ONE CAN hate you . And even if someone says he or she does , then all they do is , envy you . You're ...he took a break from his words, and continued " precious y/n , donot waste your life serving people, or getting used by them . Just.... Love yourself y/n ! Love yourself ! Stop telling yourself that you're a burden ! Stop telling yourself that you're useless . And show people what you've got ... Show people that whatever they do , or whatever they say , it doesn't bother you any way ... Just ...smile ...even if something unpleases you , because ......... He stopped and stared into my eyes for a second or two , I love it when you smile ...and this made my heart flutter now ... And I looked straight at his face , spontaneously ...and he was still lost into mine....

" I'm ...there for you when you feel like crying , I'm there for you , when you're in a trouble , even if you slap me once again ... I won't be able to resist myself to step forward and get you out of some scene ... even if people tell you that I'm wrong ,and even if you believe on what they say  , I probably won't be able to stop myself from heading up to you , even if I'd want to . Even if you'll leave someday ... I'll try forgetting you , but I'm sure , I ........... won't be able to . "

I felt remorse now... I felt like he tried to remind me of all the unfair treatment , i had given him , one after another ... but...one thing that was incomprehensible to me was ...what his response to all those things was ...

Why won't you be able to stop yourself from coming towards me taehyung ? Why won't you be able to resist yourself from , offering your hand and helping me up everytime I fall ? Why ? What's up with you ? What's up with me ? Or.... what's up with us? 

And with that his hands left mine ... his breathe could no longer be felt , but my heart still ached ... It ached restlessly . I wanted to apologize ... For all I'd done and thank him enough for all he'd done , in return ! But he began being distant and I kept waiting for him to stop instead of speaking up ,myself .

But then finally , my inner self screamed ,if not now then never y/n .. go say it all !  and I eventually moved forward and clutched his arm tight , still sobbing out of utter regret and he looked at me , giving a questioning gaze and I spoke in a .. shattered voice .

" T-tae...hyung . I shedded a tonne of tears with it , and then continued ," I-I'm...really... I'm sorry ! ...I couldn't look at him for a second even ... And I just carried on speaking , with my eyes set nowhere , "I.. I sighed and said ," I don't know what to say... I'm just... I'm ...sorry for all I did . I'm- that's just what I hate myself for . And that's probably what makes me think that people hate me too. You did so much for me and ... I'm just soaked in sorrow right now.  I left the hospital, without letting you know , without thanking you even after all you did for me that day . I didn't even bother asking you about what your condition was , since .. you fought bad to those guys.. "

I couldn't help but ... fill every space with my tears ..

"I ... s-slapped you there in front of the whole school yet just a second after I started to regret over what I'd done , and even after that , you didn't hesitate helping me  ... I didn't even thank you for that and last night ... it turned out that you saved me again !? Why !?  . I , thought wrong about you... I trusted somebody else but not the one who always showed up like a saviour . I'm sorry taehyung , I'm sorry for ... being mean .. I'm sorry for being thankless to you at times I should have had treated you with what you were worth for ." I snivelled and tried rubbing my tears away , but those were non-stop at the moment and I had virtually never cried that much till date .