the hunger games: if it happened to me

Chapter 20

I cry. All I can do is cry. I need to show the world she's more than just a piece of their games. I gather white primroses and lay them around her and on her hands. I kiss her on the forehead and I start leaving. I grab my three middle fingers of my left hand, reach for my lips and hold it out for her and her state. It is an old and rarely used gesture of our state. It means thanks, it means admiration, it means good-bye to someone you love.
All of this is cruel. Taking the kids from our states, forcing them to kill one another while we watch - this is the Capitol's way of reminding us how totally we are at their mercy. How little chance we would stand of surviving a rebellion. Whatever words they use, the real message is clear. "Look how we take your children and sacrifice them and there's nothing you can do. If you lift a finger, we will destroy every last one of you. Just as we do with every other problem"
I start to loose myself. I killed someone and I saw someone get killed. I'll never be able to forget that. I'm drifting away into stormy thoughts when I hear a scream. Ferny. Oh no. Hearing this snaps me back to reality. "Ferny" I scream. "Ahhhh Iri" he yells back in pain. I run towards the voice. I don't see anyone. "Over here" Ferny says. He's in back of a giant bush cave. I run to him. I'm so relieved that he's alive and here with me. "Ferny oh my god what happened? Ferny" I cry out. His leg has a deep cut. "Iri I don't think I'm g-" he starts to say. "No. Don't go think that way okay? We're gonna make it." I yell. I help him up. Slowly I help him limp all the way to our cave.
We lay down in silence. I stare at him. His eyes. His jaw line. His lips. His skin. Everything. I never realized how cute Ferny is. We need medicine for his leg. The only way to get medicine is sponsors, and sponsors love a good show. "Ferny?" I say. "Yeah" he responds. "When I didn't find you I felt like a part of me was missing. I need you." I add. He smiles. As if he actually believes this. There's a long pause of silence. "Every time I heard that cannon, I prayed it wasn't you. I dont know what I'd do with out you. I need you." He whispers. I can't help but smile. "I love you" I say as I lean in to give him a big long kiss.
Just minutes later a little parachute with a black box attached to it, comes my way. I open it. Medicine. My plan worked. It had a little card next to it. It reads: "the way you look at him finally convinced me. -R." R for Ralph. Is my acting getting better? The way I look at him? I'm confused. I look at him the same as I did before. I realize that this isn't important. The only important thing is getting the medicine on ferny's leg. I start to put some of him. He's very calm for someone with a deep cup like that. He looks at me while I put it on his leg. When I finish he pulls me next to him. "Thank you." He whispers. I smile and nod.
He leans in and kisses me. We lay down, in a cave, in an arena full of people trying to kill us, but some how being with him, cuddled up, makes me feel safe.