Room 13 (Kaylor)

Chapter Five.

A/N: Hey loves! Trigger Warning on this chapter for Homophobia and Abuse. It's not pretty but Taylor's FINALLY opening up to Karlie and I promise it's all on the up from here. Stay safe guys xxx

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Taylor's eyes are itchy from fatigue, her whole body feels like it weighs a ton, and she's pretty sure the last time she had a decent night's sleep was about a week and a half ago.

She hasn't seen Karlie in about the same amount of time, too.

True to her word, Taylor didn't book another appointment. She hasn't had a session with Karlie in almost two weeks now, and the truth is...she's fucking miserable.

She misses her. She misses the playful banter they had during their sessions, and she misses having someone she could talk to freely and openly without judgement. She misses having someone to confide in, someone she could trust to keep her secrets, and more than anything...she just misses having Karlie around, as a friend and as a therapist.

She's slipping back into her zombie like state, and she knows it, but she knows if she goes back to see Karlie, it's going to result in her confessing everything, and fuck, she's just not ready for that.

She can't tell Karlie the truth. She can't tell her that her boss is an abusive asshole who's bribing her, she can't tell her about the homophobia she faced when she was younger, she can't tell her about her homophobic uncle. She can't tell her that she doesn't know why she puts up with everyone's bullshit, because the truth is, not even Taylor knows why she puts up with their bullshit. Maybe it's for her fans, maybe it's for her family, maybe it's for Joe, hell, maybe it's for herself, she honestly has no fucking idea at this point. she can't expose herself, can't break her walls down and tell Karlie these things about herself because what if Karlie uses them against her?

Her boss has her whole fucking life, what's stopping Karlie from doing the same?

God, she has no idea what she's doing anymore, no idea what she's feeling or why, but Karlie was helping and now she's ruined everything.

"Taylor, seriously, you look like you haven't slept in days...why don't you just go and see Karlie again-."

"Because I don't want to, Tree." Taylor lies stiffly, sipping her coffee and crossing her legs tightly, nails of her left hand digging into her own thigh harshly to stop herself from fleeing like she always does.

Karlie probably won't accept her back, anyway, she pretty much ripped Karlie a new one, why would she even want to help Taylor anymore after what she said to her?

"Well, the scary reality of therapy is that sometimes we don't want to go, but we have to. Taylor, I know I only saw you once or twice since you started your sessions, but you were showing signs of improvement while you were seeing her! but now, you're back to how you were. She was helping, why don't you want to see her again?" Tree asks softly, reaching out to grip her hand, prompting Taylor to lean away from her touch with a sharp intake of breath as she grabs her coffee with both hands now to stop Tree from making contact just because she really doesn't want to be touched by anyone right now.

"B-because, I...she tried to bring up stuff I don't want to talk about! she's pushy, and I don't appreciate pushy people!" Taylor snaps, unable to contain herself, and Tree rolls her eyes before she huffs and shakes her head.

"Taylor, she's a therapist, of course she's going to try and bring up things you don't want to talk about! that's kind of the whole point of therapy! talking about the bad shit so you can find a way to stop it from affecting your life! isn't that what you wanted?" Tree says firmly, cocking an eyebrow and smirking slightly at the way Taylor shifts uncomfortably before she clears her throat and scoffs.