Room 13 (Kaylor)

Chapter Seven.

A/N: It's true I love tragic backstories, sorry about it! Many firsts in this chapter so yeah enjoy those!
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The shrill sound of a phone ringing is what pulls Taylor out of her restless sleep, her nose blocked and her eyes itching as she reaches under her pillow, inching closer and closer to her vibrating phone until her fingers close around it.

She declines the call without even checking the caller id.

She doesn't want to talk to anyone.

She knows going this long without talking to anyone is eventually going to cause some worry, but she's at least texted people back telling them she's fine, including Joe. she told him she was just busy with work.

That's a lie.

It's been over a week. Over a week since she left Karlie's office...over a week since she's heard from her, spoken to her, had anything to do with her...

She was supposed to have a session with Jourdan yesterday, but Taylor couldn't bring herself to go. She called Martha and cancelled. Because the thought of having to walk into someone else's office, the thought of having to tell someone else everything about herself...she can't do it.

And it pisses her off. It makes her so fucking mad that she can't just talk to Jourdan, move on from what happened with Karlie, but Karlie earned her trust, and now...

God, what happened? Taylor still doesn't understand it, her brain can't wrap around anything that's happened...Taylor wishes more than anything that she could contact Karlie, ask her to just please talk to her, she has her fucking number to do so, but...she can't.

Karlie asked for space, and Taylor wants to give that to her. But it's killing her, not knowing what's going on in Karlie's mind, she doesn't even know what the fuck is going on in her own fucking mind, everything is just such a mess, and Taylor feels like her whole life is spiraling at this point.

Does she like Karlie? of course she does, but does she like her in that way?

No...no you don't, you don't, Taylor-

But Taylor can't fucking deny it, she can't. She can't deny the way she felt when Karlie touched her, can't deny how Karlie makes her feel...her whole life, she's never felt anything like that, it was like her whole body sparked with electricity, it's...it's undeniable at this point. There is something there, and it fucking terrifies her.

She knows Karlie feels guilty for what she did, but they were drunk...alcohol makes people do stupid shit, it's not like Taylor's upset about it...she's definitely not upset about it. But Karlie hasn't even attempted to text her, and Taylor just needs to know if she's okay.

But more than anything, she misses her. She misses Karlie's smile, and her laugh, and the way she always makes Taylor feel so safe and so warm, like nothing can touch her or harm her as long as Karlie's around...she misses the sound of her voice, she misses everything about that woman, but she knows at the end of the day...Karlie's right.

This could cause so much trouble for Karlie, Taylor's her patient and Karlie her doctor... Karlie had a duty of care here, and if they do anything beyond that level of a relationship, she could lose her job, her license, could possibly face legal action as well, and Taylor doesn't want to put her through that. As confused about everything as she is, she doesn't want to cause Karlie any harm. She cares about her...she really fucking cares about her.

But she's not gay, she can't be...god, she's with Joe-

Oh god, Joe...

Her phone begins ringing loudly once again, and Taylor looks at her phone and groans at the sight of the caller id.