Whispering Madelynn

Perfectly F*cked Up (1)

I was running down my usual path before school to try to get my thoughts together. Home wasn't the best, and I had too much to focus on for pity, anger and thoughts of retaliation to get in the way. I had to focus. Focus. I push myself harder. Focus. Faster. Focus. Breath. Faster. Focus! 

   I make it back to my backyard in almost record time and grin. I did it. I made a time that would strike attention if I kept it in front of the scouts. I just have to be careful and keep it up until the scout meet and I could get into a college on a full-ride. I laughed and stood up with my hands on my head as I breathed deeply. I could do this. My dream it's out of reach anymore. I can do this. I jumped a few times to restrict my muscles in and out as I felt them burning from the fast run and did some cool down stretches. 

When I finally walked back inside all the good emotions were gone and replaced with a blank slate and numbness as I looked around the house and listened for anything that I should hide from. I walk into my room and lock the door after shutting it quietly. I hear THWAM! from outside my room and grumbles. I guess he's up. I can hear my mother whimpering in their room while my father walks to the bathroom across from my room. 'Another day of pretending we're the perfect family,' I think sarcastically while getting ready for school. 

   My father gives me a ride to school as usual and calls after me that he loves me with a smile. I smile back as best as I can and say it back to him. All an act for the people that might hear us in front of my school. Dad is the sheriff of our smaller town and everyone thinks we're the perfect family. 'Perfectly f*cked up' I think to myself while covering the huge bruises on my arms and walking into the big front doors of my school. Another day of pretending to be the perfect daughter and student before going home to my drunken father and hearing the yells of my mother before he decides she is boring and pays me a visit. I sigh and walk into my first hour, Pre-Calculus. 

   When I sit down I don't pay attention to anything or anyone but the teacher and the notes on the board. The teacher hands out the homework and I start on it right away, not wasting any time. If I have to take home my homework I have to go to the library to get it done or else it will never be done due to the perfect father in my house. I turn in the assignment before anyone else and still have over 30 minutes left of class. I put my earbuds in and hit play on my Girl In Red album before laying my head on the table and thinking about everything. 

   The bell rang and I shot up and grabbed my bag before heading to my second hour. I did this all day until I had to go home. All my work was done, and the amazing father he was picked me up from school with a smile and a cookie. He never brings sweets or drives me home. Something is definitely going on here. I smile back and say 'thank you' since we're still in front of people and I can't show how scared I am. He chuckles and musses my hair, 'accidentally' pulling some out when he's done. I wince but don't make a sound. I see a grin blooming on his face from knowing he caused me pain in public without being caught. 

After getting home I get out of the car before he can even put it in park and sprint inside and up to my room, he's fast, but I'm faster. I get the door closed and locked before he can even get in the hall to my room. I hear him huffing as he gets right outside my door and chuckles madly. I feel pure terror as he laughs on the other side of my door. "You know, Maddie. You're fast until I break your leg. Maybe both," he growls out and I feel a single tear drop down my face at the thought of him ruining everything I've worked so hard for by breaking my leg or legs. 

   "Lucky for you, I hate seeing your disgusting face, so you're moving in with your aunt and uncle. I'm selling this house and moving to Colorado. I was offered a better job and don't want top go through what it will take to get your dumb self in school. You'll fail anyways. Get packed. You leave tomorrow morning," he says still on the other side of the door. I fall to the ground and cry. I can't be there for my mother if I'm still in Washington and she's in Colorado. 

   I try to search my mind for a memory, anything of an aunt or uncle and come up blank. I thought both of my parents were only children, as I am. I slowly stop crying and start to pack. I wonder if I'll have to transfer schools. All well if I did, I had no friends here and I only ever talked to the teachers and coaches. Hopefully if I do move they have a track and cross country team. It's the only way I'll be able to pay for college unless a 4.0 GPA is still impressive to some school with nothing but running on it. I pack the few pairs of clothes that I have into my suitcase for traveling events over the summer and sit back as I looks at my few belongings. I used to have nicer things, before dad started drinking, but he broke them or sold them for beer. 

I hope my aunt and uncle are nice.