Care For Me

26

Jungkook's POV

Two hours.

It's been two hours since we reached our pack's territories, barged into the hospital wing and watched how Y/N was taken away from me to go into surgery. Ever since then I've been pacing back and forth in the waiting room, as Tae and Jimin sat on the floor.

Jimin was doing sit-ups like a maniac and Taehyung just stared at me without blinking. Both of them only irritated me more, leading me to get even more tense and eventually, I lost it. "Get out of here or I'll hurt you", I gritted through my teeth.

I could feel their shocked looks on me but couldn't care less as my hands already balled to fists and I tried my hardest to hold my wolf back. "But Jungkook-". "OUT! NOW!", I yelled and made them flinch as they quickly left the hospital wing.

I knew that they were only waiting outside now but at least they were out of my sight. Now that they were gone, I still had to get rid of the gathered anger and therefore punched the next wall hard enough to leave a dent in it.

Letting out groans and grunts, I then lashed out on a chair and other furniture in the room until I broke down, fell onto my knees and cried my eyes out. I couldn't keep myself together any longer, had to connect with my wolf now and lost all control within a second.

My heart ached like someone was stabbing me both from the front and back, twisted the knives slowly and then abruptly pulled them out, only to pierce them right through me again. At the same time I felt numb though.

Nothing had a purpose or point anymore, my whole existence was meaningless without her. I'm nothing without Y/N. She's my other half, my best friend and soulmate all in one. My love, life, purpose and hope. My everything.

Salty tears brutally ran down my cheeks and drenched the neckline of my shirt but what triggered me the most was the view when I looked down. My hands and pants, as well as the bottom half of the front of my shirt were covered in blood.

My mate's blood. The pictures of her limp body laying in my arms and how the red liquid welled up between Jimin's fingers flooded my mind and made me whimper as I also recalled how her heartbeat decreased and her skin got paler.

I watched how the love of my life was dying in my embrace and there was nothing I could do. Waiting here was worse though because I couldn't control what was happening. I couldn't make sure that people were doing the best they could.

There was nothing I could do for her now, because I failed to do everything I could before things took such a drastic turn. I should've told her the truth from the start, never should've let Nightfall come here and I should've kept an eye on her myself.

It's my responsibility to make sure she is safe and sound at all times and yet I failed her so horribly that her life was at stake now. If only I had stayed with her, watched over her from afar, sent someone to guard her or simply never blocked our bond.

I would've felt that she was in danger, could've stopped Suho in time and it would've never come this far. We were only in this situation because of my mistakes; because I failed her. I'm the worst mate one could ever have.

Y/N deserves the best of the best and not someone that prioritizes the wrong things and ultimately risks her life. I don't deserve someone as selfless, caring and loving, that is willing to sacrifice herself to save me. I'm not worthy of her and I'll never be.

My body slowly sank further to the ground until I was laying on my left side and able to pull my knees up to my chest as to curl up and somehow keep my body from shaking as much due to the repeated hisses and whimpers.