MY MUSE, tooru oikawa

chapter twenty seven

(chapter xxvii)

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The team warmly welcomed Yuna as she arrived at the gymnasium for practice, dressed in her new tracksuit.

Meanwhile, Tooru watched her carefully, his eyes lingering on her. The rest of the team smiled and exchanged pleasantries, while his mind was whirling with conflicting thoughts.

Their time to chat was cut short as they quickly got to the task at hand, training for the upcoming match. The team had planned to celebrate Yuna's joining the team by going out to a restaurant afterward, as was their tradition for every new member. Tooru couldn't help but feel a mix of excitement and trepidation, knowing that they'd be spending more time together after practice.

The team practiced with focused determination, knowing that they would be going out to eat together after. Time seemed to fly by as the players worked through drills and matches.

Before Yuna knew it, her first day as the team's manager had drawn to a close, and she had barely had time to process the role.

Despite her nerves and occasional missteps, Yuna was grateful for Hajime and Tooru's kindness and willingness to show her the ropes. The younger players on the team were understanding and didn't comment on her mistakes, having been in her shoes before. Because of this, the atmosphere was supportive and encouraging as everyone worked together to ensure a smooth transition for the new manager.

Every new member of the team had made their share of mistakes when they first joined, so she knew that it was unrealistic to expect perfection. Thankfully, the team was understanding and supportive, recognizing that everyone had room to grow and learn. This made Yuna feel relieved, as she wouldn't have to worry about being judged for her occasional errors.

The volleyball team, along with their coaches, made their way to the restaurant they always went to after games, whether they won or lost. Coach Irihata had emphasized the importance of spending time together and enjoying each other's company, regardless of the outcome of their matches. Food, friends, and family were seen as the true rewards, and everyone was excited to unwind and celebrate Yuna's inclusion in the team.

Tooru and Hajime took turns explaining the tradition to Yuna, and she couldn't help but notice the contrast in their attitudes. Hajime thought it was a great concept, while Tooru expressed reservations but still agreed to participate out of team spirit. The differences in their perspectives added an interesting dynamic to the conversation.

Yuna recognized that she was still at the very beginning of her journey as a manager for the team, and it was too early to form any strong opinions. Nonetheless, a part of her secretly yearned for Tooru to embrace this shared tradition, as she valued her time with both of her close friends equally. For now, she acknowledged the differences in their opinions and held onto the hope that, with time, those feelings might evolve.

As the team arrived at the restaurant, the first few minutes felt like an eternity, as a few members took turns praising Yuna's addition to the team. She felt grateful that none of the members had made inappropriate jokes about her position, knowing that some of her brother's teammates had tended to idolize Kiyoko in a less than respectful way.

If any of the boys had made disrespectful comments or treated her as merely a girl to show off, Yuna would have stepped up to address it. However, she counted herself lucky that they instead valued her for her skills and abilities as the new team manager, rather than reducing her to a mere figurehead.

Tooru, sitting next to her, casually leaned on his palms and began speaking, "You know, when I first spoke to you, I never expected you to become so involved."

Yuna acknowledged his statement with a thoughtful hum, leaning on her own palm and replying, "So, you expected less from me?"

Tooru stifled a laugh and nonchalantly shrugged his shoulders. "Yes," he admitted.

Yuna smiled and returned the nod. "I appreciate your honesty," she said. Then, with a glimmer in her eyes, she added, "And I could say the same for you."

To this, Tooru raised an eyebrow, genuinely curious. "Oh really? How so?"

"For one thing," Yuna began, her words carrying a hint of thoughtfulness. "You've actually become a lot more interested in what others have to say lately."

Seeing Tooru's furrowed brows, she continued, revealing her observations from their freshman year. "We never really talked in our first year," she explained. "But I've noticed you interacting with team members and girls a lot. It seemed like you were never really focused, though. You often had this distant look in your eyes."

Tooru, feeling a mixture of embarrassment and defensiveness, attempted to deflect with his usual blithe manner. "Oh, so you've been watching me, huh? Were you an admirer?" he jested.

Yuna's response was direct and blunt, and Tooru felt a jolt of surprise at her words. "No, I disliked you," she answered without hesitation. Taken aback, Tooru experienced a pang in his chest.

Tooru repeated her words slowly, his voice tinged with surprise and disappointment. "You...disliked me?"

Yuna answered matter-of-factly, "Mhm...to be honest, I thought there's still a part of me that dislikes you..." Her gaze remained fixed ahead as she continued, "But as the days went by, I've come to realize that I was probably just envious of you."

Tooru's curiosity was piqued, and he pressed further, his question tinged with a mix of confusion and genuine interest. "But why?" he asked, the festering nosiness within him taking hold. "What was there about me to be envious of?"

Yuna's response was honest and direct, her words carrying a depth of understanding. "For being able to be yourself," she said simply.

Tooru leaned on the table and chuckled, his voice tinged with a hint of bitterness. "I appreciate the sentiment," he replied. "However, the truth is, I'm not proud of who I am. My path is defined by my need for retribution. While it drives me to give my best, there's a part of me that knows it'll ultimately lead to nothing but regret. I keep wanting and one day, I have a feeling that this constant quest will turn me into a despicable person."

Yuna fell quiet, contemplating his words before gathering the courage to ask her next question: "Do you think...do you think we can ever escape the past?"

Tooru responded with a quiet chuckle and a shrug of his shoulders. "Your guess is as good as mine," he said, his voice carrying a hint of uncertainty.

It was clear there was more he wanted to say, his inner cheek showing the signs of his suppressed words, but for now, he chose to keep them to himself.

Tooru's unspoken thought echoed silently within his mind. And I hope, along the way, when we finally discover the answer, that the part of me you envy will cease to exist.