Never Again

Chapter twelve

Chapter twelve:

"She was about to leave," I say—unaffected by the warmth on Sloane's face after seeing Ellie happy. As soon as I say those words, a frown plays on both Ellie and Sloane's lips. Charles, on the other hand, is looking at Sloane curiously.

"But—" Sloane cuts her.

"My roommate will start to worry about me. I need to go, El," she lies. I glare at her. She doesn't shudder. She doesn't quiver. Simply, she acknowledges what I said through my eyes.

Don't fucking call her El. You have no right.

"You can't bail on us." Ellie's voice is no more requesting. It is firm. It holds authority. "I want to ask you where the fuck have you been. And-and, why do they call you Nora?" Yelling. She is almost yelling.

Sloane stays calm. "I can't, Ellie. This...this was a mistake. It is just some meaningless one night stand." She darts to the kitchen and grabs her clothes. Ellie tries to protest but words stick in her mouth. Sloane quickly puts on her pants and I try not to notice her bare legs. She grabs her clothes and darts to the door.

"Amber, I—"

"I'm sorry, Ellie."

"Did you mean what you said that evening?" Ellie shouts. Sloane pauses and turns around. A number of emotions flashing on her face. And I recognised them. All of them. But it said just one thing.

She didn't mean it.

But Sloane doesn't say a word. She mouths that she is sorry and runs away. She doesn't spare me a glance. She avoided looking at me. As if I would break something. That's right. I will break her.

"You bastard," Ellie whispers to me. Anger lacing her every word.

"I didn't do a thing. Don't blame me." I turn around to leave but Ellie clutches my arm and yanks me to face her.

"What happened between you two?" She crosses her arms over her chest. "How did you two meet? What the fuck happened that day?"

"What has gone into you, Ellie? Why are you so interested, all of a sudden? If you remember, Amber left us six years ago with no word. No goodbye. Why do you pity her? She didn't even love me or any of us. Why do you care?" All these questions have been eating for the past few months. I couldn't bring myself to ask her. I didn't want to recollect any memories or any feelings. Sloane was as good as dead to me.

"Because of you, Caleb. It has always been you. Amber and Caleb would be a thing if I wouldn't ask about that stupid teacher. It would've mended everything. For years, I've been blaming myself. The girl you loved walked away because I fucking opened my mouth!" Tears rolled down her eyes. I sucked a breath.

"Everything had ended before you stepped in, El. You had nothing to do with our—my already broken soul," I say quietly. She opens her mouth but doesn't say anything.

I glance at Charles. "You can close your mouth, Charles. A mosquito might get in."

"Turn a tragedy into humour, as much as you want, Caleb but you don't bang someone if you hate them." We didn't. I wanted to yell. Sloane and I didn't do a thing. We would never.

But I wanted to.

I quite the voice inside my head and walk away.

●●●

Because of you, Caleb. It has always been you.

Ellie's voice wouldn't stop echoing in my head. I didn't know. I never knew Ellie blamed herself. I wish she would've told me about it. I might have told her what happened that evening.

A laugh of mocking erupted in my head. It was my own cruel laughter. I had shut everyone off. Even if she would come to talk to me, I would've brushed her away.

I regret every second of Ellie looking at me with pitiful eyes. She blamed herself when it wasn't her fault at all. Sloane. She broke my heart. Whether Ellie would've asked about that Bernard bastard or not, a part of me knew Sloane was going to leave.

I had seen her pale, aching face. I knew every bit of what she wanted to say. And how she didn't mean what she said after we kissed. I had planned to ask her, apologise and forgive her but she didn't look back.

That is what makes me angry.

That is why I hate her.