Devil May Care - Deckerstar

Chapter 3: Much too much

Where Lucifer was? No one would know.

Ever since their awful conversation, Lucifer had gone AWOL, and everyone knew that if he didn't want to be found, then he wouldn't be. There had been so much inside his head, so much pain, hatred. Every negative emotion a human can think of had gone through his head, all towards his father, some towards the fact that Chloe was pregnant and it was, indeed, with his child. He wasn't ready, he didn't want it, he would never want it.

The fact that Chloe ran away now meant so much more because, in doing so, she also got to keep that not so little secret from him, at least for long enough that nothing could be done about it. If human methods of dealing with an unwanted pregnancy would even work in a half-celestial child, that is.

His head was a blubbering mess of despair, anger, sadness, uncertainty, but more than that, he was disappointed, hurt, completely disempowered. He had been left forlorn yet another time, only that this once, at least, being on his own had been his decision. No one could take that away from him.

He felt the need to think. He needed the initial chaos to pass so he could deal with the havoc said chaos would leave behind. He needed as much space as he could possibly get, he needed to be alone. That was why he flew himself to north Canada immediately after leaving the precinct, taking nothing but the clothes he was wearing and the money inside his pockets. If only coming to terms with everything Chloe's pregnancy and 'vacation' meant were as easy as unfurling his wings and flying himself out of the country.

It wasn't as if things back in Los Angeles were any better, though.

Don't get her wrong, Chloe was thankful she didn't have to face Lucifer for the following weeks, she really was. She just had to deal with that minuscule part of her that was still kind of hoping Lucifer would go about her pregnancy nicely. It was pathetic, really, but there was something in her that just wanted Lucifer to do things the right way, and end up happily ever after. Those were the remnants of the woman that had once come close to falling in love with the devil. She had been the one to do all the thinking for those last three weeks, the one that actually got a broken heart after that ghastly conversation.

"How do you do it, Dan?"

She had resorted to her ex-husband, seeking guidance. She just needed to understand, to not feel afraid anymore.

She knew Dan had found out when, upon having Lucifer walk away from her, he came to meet her and found her crying inside that briefing room; the broken wine glass still shattered over the wooden table. He'd been the one to help her get back on her feet, to sort of hold her together after that initial shock, after the version of herself that actually felt something for Lucifer took over and managed to bring her to her knees. They didn't say a word for around half an hour, but the conversation that followed after that let Chloe know that she wasn't alone, that there were other humans that also knew.

In those three weeks, Chloe felt as accompanied and cherished as never before, and yet she had never felt so alone.

Linda and Dan would meet with her almost on a daily basis to talk about divinity with her, to help her clear her doubts and hopefully ease her fears. Having Lucifer away actually helped with that, and she was thankful that even when everything was falling apart between them, they still managed to keep in sync. Sort of.

"I was just as lost as you are when I found out, Chlo," Dan explained, resting his hip on the wall right besides Chloe's desk as his ex-wife took a break from the case she was working on. Solving the murder of a woman that took part in a reality tv show like The Cabin had been proven to be hard without her partner and without any new leads.