The Cure ~eruri~

Chapter 3

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Levi eventually stretched all his limbs as he lay on the padded medical table, sighing. He supposed he should get dressed and go home. He had all weekend now to relax and think about what might await him on Monday evening when he returned. That thought lit a fire in his belly that he had not felt since college.

Damn, you're pathetic, he thought to himself, as he sat up and began pulling on his clothes, always measuring new men against that idiot senior...you're in your fucking thirties...move on already.

He found himself grumbling about this occasionally, whenever his expectations for potential partners fell short, all thanks to the best relationship he'd ever had: that damned senior. The one who had swooped in as though from the heavens to charm him with tangible affection and overwhelming sincerity.

Levi had been a sophomore in college at the time, coming off a tireless freshman year of indiscriminate sexual exploits. Having been free from his parents for the first time, he'd been able to properly explore his sexuality, finding no shortage of flings from either gender. With this freedom, he'd discovered his own inclination for men over women. Even so, he'd had no wish for anything long-term, and was always clear about this intention. After his first few attempts at relationships in high school, he'd realized that most people found his constant indifference too abrasive. No one had seemed capable of accepting that as a central core of his personality. If anything was to blame for Levi becoming so jaded, it was his controlling parents. After being raised within an extremely conventional four-walled box, he'd found it necessary to remain guarded about his true thoughts. When one 'wrong' desire slipping from his mouth could result in hours of lectures, it was easier to pretend he had none whatsoever.

Which was why his world had been shaken up entirely by the sudden appearance of a bleached-blond athlete, asking him on a date rather than a one-night-stand. The timing had been exceedingly poor; mid-term exams had been around the corner, and Levi had been studying in the student lounge of his dorm, when the other boy sat down across the table from him and gave him a blindingly white smile. One ridiculous thing had led to another, and they'd wound up dating for the rest of the year. It had made no sense to Levi back then why that senior had adored him so much, or taken the time to endear himself to Levi as well. That was difficult for anyone to achieve once faced with Levi's apparent apathy and sarcasm. Somehow, though, that senior had seen through him, and slowly worked on his heart until Levi finally began to open up to him. It had been...wonderful. For the first time in his life, Levi had found someone he trusted enough to share his life, and all of his thoughts.

But it had been only a short, golden blip in the time line of Levi's life. He'd believed, for the first time, that he'd found someone who would never leave him...only to receive the text message that still made his mouth twist when he thought about it. You won't be hearing from me for a while. I'm sorry. It had made sense, at the time; he'd been on a senior trip in a foreign country, and Levi had taken it as merely a polite reminder that communication would be scarce until he returned. But even after the return date had come and gone...Levi had heard nothing. And he'd put the pieces together. He had been cut loose. And his heart had never completely healed from the rejection.

Levi still blamed that damned fool for spoiling him for any other man, and then running off and leaving him behind like that. To this day Levi felt it had been the conversations they'd tried to have with his parents that had been the final straw. Who wanted to commit to someone whose family screamed that they were afflicted with 'unnatural desires', or were making a mockery of 'real' relationships? Levi couldn't have said if he would've been able to commit either, if the roles had been reversed. It was something he'd lived with for so long that he had a tougher hide for it than most. But if anyone had seemed willing to grin and bear it, that senior had.