𝗛𝗘𝗔𝗧𝗛𝗘𝗥 ━━ 𝖻𝗋𝗒𝖼𝖾 𝗁𝖺𝗅𝗅

𝗶𝗶𝗶. 𝗶𝗻𝘀𝗲𝗰𝘂𝗿𝗲

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november 9, 2019
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I LOOKED AT BRYCE AS HE snaps a quick picture of me, picking at the salad. i looked at my phone as it dinged. 'brycehall mentioned you in his story'. i tap my phone seeing the picture of me captioned, first date kinda nervy.

"bruh." i roll my eyes playfully. "delete that! i look like shit." i chuckle.

"yeah you look dumb." he says sarcastically making me kick him under the table.

"i gotta go in like five, i need to hit the studio."

"oh shit, what song?" he asks.

"it's called idontwannabeyouanymore." i smiled, carefully chewing on the salad.

"lemme take you there."

"you sure?"

"of course."

—

"hey aurelia!" my producer smiles, looking next to me. "oh...hello bryce." she smiled at him as we sat down.

"hi." bryce greeted, pulling out the chair for me to sit first.

"so we already went over the lyrics and found our beat last time. i think now we just need to review them and then you can add your vocals."

"don't be that way, fall apart twice a day.
i just wish you could feel what you say. show, never tell.
but i know you too well, got a mood that you wish you could sell." i mumbled, humming in my head. "i feel like we should add something to the start? i dont wanna just get right into it. at least just a vocal."

"okay, of course."

by the end of the night, and a few redbulls later, we were finished. the song sounded amazing. we were playing it in the room.

"okay, for the music video at this part, i wanna be staring at a mirror, pointing this out."

—

"okay, i really really really really hate myself. you know, you can feel so incredibly lost...and horrible. and like you're nothing and you're invisible for just, no reason." i chuckle nervously at the genius interviewer. bryce was watching behind the scenes with a reassuring smile. "and sometimes thats even worse than having a reason. you know, thats just how my brain works sometimes and everyone that cares is like, 'oh aurelia, what's wrong?' and i would just say i don't fucking know. and they's say, 'who hurt you' and i'd just sit and be like." i pointed at myself, laughing.

"dont be that way,
fall apart twice a day. i just wish you could feel what you say." i sang.

"its so fucking annoying to feel like this ALL the time. ALL the time." i laughed. "and if someone is like, 'oh my god ur so sad all time!' like bitch the fuck? i know. i have to be in this bitch all the time."