Stay Alive For Me (TordTom)

14

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?!"

Tord fell backwards with a thud, his eyes slightly wide and breathing quick. He looked up at me in shock, my rage blinding me from seeing his hurt expression.

"I-I was kissing you-"

"Yes, I realized that. But WHY?!"

An expression of anger took over my face as I scooted back, not wanting to be near the man who broke my heart. Tord didn't answer, averting his gaze from my eyes as he looked at the ground. The lack of an answer left me agitated, hands balling into fists as I so desperately wanted to walk away from him.

"WHY?!"

"BECAUSE I FUCKING LOVE YOU, OK?!"

His eyes met mine again, narrowed, yet a gleam of emotion residing in them. I couldn't identify it.

"That's not what you said two days ago."

My arms folded over my chest as I sat against the concrete wall protecting us, looking out in the direction of the streets. Face heated, I neglected to turn his way. My breathing was heavy, I huffed slightly as we sat in silence for a few minutes. A sigh was heard through the brisk air, slight shuffling seen out of the corner of my eye.

"I never thought I'd see you again, Tom."

My eyes wandered to look at the dark ground, the flashlight only lighting up a few meters in front of us.

"Why'd you come back?"

Keeping my gaze on the gravel in front of me, my expression softened.

"Because I know you're innocent, Tord. I know you didn't design the bomb."

My head hung low, thoughts travelling back to what Tord had said to me before I left him. Just thinking about it sent a spear to my heart, but I didn't show my weakness. I'd never do that in front of him. Not anymore.

The momentary silence was filled with a heavy chuckle as I saw Tord sit up straight against the wall, his foot moving slightly, making him hiss.

"How'd you figure it out? I honestly thought my reasoning was pretty good."

If my eyes weren't black, I'm sure I would've rolled them to illustrate my annoyance. Instead, I sighed deeply, finally looking back at Tord.

"I had some help."

My tone was bland and emotionless, my face appearing the same way. I could see the slight confusion in Tord's expression, no words needed to tell me to explain.

"Earlier today, I was rescued by two guys in a plane. Their names are Pau and Pat, and they're on their way to get the plane now to pick us up. I told them about you, and how you 'designed the bombs.' Their database has information about the bombs being dropped. A woman designed them. And I know for a fact that you're a dude."

A half-hearted smile curled on Tord's lips, his eyes trailing to the ground again. Softly chuckling, he opened his mouth, emotion dwelling in his eyes, though I couldn't tell which one. He looked unhappy. Hurt. Though he kept the smile glued to his lips.

"I guess my lie wasn't as flawless as I thought."

Tord's smile faltered, his eyes somehow conflicting with his lips. Although he wore a wavering grin, his eyes showed the opposite of joy.

"But at least it worked."

My emotionless expression now softened, I wore a face of confusion.

"What do you mean?"

His eyes eventually closing, Tord forced a smile to stay on his lips, not letting up his obvious act of false happiness.

"You left. If you loved me, you wouldn't have done that."

My brows furrowed as I broke my stare at Tord, eyes wandering to the streets ahead of me once more.

"I did love you, Tord."

A broken chuckle left Tord's lips, his head pointed to the sky. I could see him out of the corner of my eye, my gaze following his as I looked at the stars above me. The sky was exceptionally clear, stars twinkling brightly, much like another night some weeks ago. It's been too long since I've looked at the stars.

"Did you love me after I called you an idiot? And said that I was using you? That I never even loved you to begin with?"

Eyes twitching slightly, I kept my gaze on the stars, not bothering to face the excuse of a man beside me.

"No. I didn't."

Tord's head lowered slightly, his eyes looking into the darkness before us.

"Exactly."

I let my eyes pan over to Tord, a frown playing on his lips instead of that forced smile he held.

"Telling you I was the bomb's designer wasn't enough for you to leave. But breaking your heart was."

Tord's eyes made their way to mine, guilt residing in them as I looked back at him.

"I couldn't let you stay here and risk getting killed because of me."

"Why?! Because you can't stand being around me?!"

My words were spat at Tord, a glare overtaking my soft expression.

"No, Tom. Because I love you."

A scoff left my mouth, head turning back to look at the stars. None of his words made sense. He's told me the opposite of everything he's said before. He must've lied to me at least once, and I couldn't tell when.

"If you'd stayed with me, you would've risked getting killed with me in the explosion. You would've died, and I would've been the cause. I hated to make you leave, Tom. But I hated the idea of you dying even more."

Tord's words lingered in my mind as silence took over, the slight songs of the wind being the only one to break it until I spoke up.

"Even if that were true. Even if you do love me, I can't..."

So much to say, yet nothing came from my mouth as I tried to finish my sentence. Tord looked at me, his face full of guilt and sorrow. Taking in a deep breath, I tried again.

"You broke my heart, Tord. That's something I doubt I can ever forget. And I don't think I can trust you with the shattered pieces again."