Bi vs Pan

Internalized Biphobia

Internalized Biphobia 
I see a lot of internalized biphobia coming from bi women in particular. They will say that their attraction to men is unfortunate, that they're attracted to every woman and 2 specific men, that they wish they were lesbians. It makes me sad to see so many women being ashamed of their sexuality and the internet being okay with it. It's not okay.
Dear bi people, your love for men, women, and enbies are all equally valid and equally bi.
But let's talk about the real harm that this can do: FEBfems.
FEBfem means "female exclusive bisexual female." FEBfems are bi women who only date [cis] women. They're also radfems. They have fallen for the hate by biphobic lesbians that bi women are cheaters, abusers, r*pists, oppressors, and bihets (1). They then seek approval from their lesbian radfem counterparts by denouncing relationships with men. (2)
There's nothing wrong with being a bi woman and preferring to date women. There are valid reasons like relating to them or feeling safer with them due to trauma. There's a difference between having a preference for Sapphic relationships versus being a misandrist TERF who thinks most of their own community is disgusting for being attracted to men or willingly being in relationships with them (3).
Radfems have this idea that anyone who has had sex with a man is tainted. Radfem communities are the only places that I've seen the term gold-star lesbian taken seriously. There's a similar type of mindset when it comes to FEBfems. They're ashamed of their own attraction to men and feel as if being with a man will make them lesser.
Now onto the next part: internalized biphobia in the m-spec (pansexual, omnisexual, polysexual, idesexual) community. There are a few forms of this that I've seen.
The first is just the want to distance themselves away from bisexual stigma. See slide 9 of my m-spec post for a couple of examples. It's natural that people might associate something with bad things and therefore dislike the thing. It's damaging when it comes to sexuality, though. By avoiding the stigma and stereotypes, you are spreading the stigma and stereotypes.
Bisexuality has always been attraction to all genders. It has never been exclusive. Unfortunately there is a lot of stigma surrounding bisexuality. This ranges from believing bisexuality is binary or transphobic to believing bi people are all whores. A lot of people don't want the stigmas attached to being bi so new labels were created. Pansexuality was created out of the misconception that bisexuality is binary or exclusionary. It's divisive and heartbreaking.
Lastly, I've seen people say that bisexuality is attraction to two or more genders and that pansexuality is a descriptor or a microlabel under bisexuality (4) so people know that they're attracted to all genders. Even if bisexuality wasn't the attraction to all genders (which it is), pansexuality is still not needed. This is just an excuse to move away from bisexuality. Bisexuality has always been inclusive. Bisexuality has always been enough.
I once saw a comment that said something along the lines of, "People always tell us that we have internalized biphobia but they never tell us how to overcome it." That hit me hard, honestly. I've struggled with so much and still do struggle from some internalized biphobia. It's not fun and I wish there was something I could do to get rid of it in an instant.
It is a journey of acceptance and self-discovery. It is long. It's taken me years to make the progress that I have and I'm still working on myself. Most of all, though, is that it is a personal journey. Other people may help you, like for positivity, but it will do nothing to not try to accept yourself. Only you can take a label and own it proudly. Only you can embrace your history and your future. Only you need to accept yourself wholly.