At 17, Candyce's small worldview is maginifed when her big brother, Ace, invites her into his world as punishment. Ace may have been an overbearing big brother at home, but in the streets he was feared and respected as a young drug dealer, proving h...
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Chapter 40
The world passes me by from the passenger seat of Daz's car. He hasn't said one word to me since we got in it. There's a void between us that wasn't there before. I mean, most of me and Daz's friendship developed in a car. I would ride with him while he made his drops just to spread my time between the boys. He was always busy so my best chance at growing closer to him was to ride with him while he made his errands. Now the silence in the car is so thick that I go in my head to escape it.
I've been crying so much that my brain feels fuzzy around the edges. I want to cry some more but the wells behind my eyes are tapped out. My eyes are so dry that they hurt to look around so I close out the buildings, the cars and the trees as they pass the window. I shut out everything and hope and pray that my mind can do the same.
This is my fault.
The realization is just as staggering as it was when I came to terms with it in the room with Caesar. Only this time, he's not here to coax me back to sleep.
I'm on my own.
It's funny, I left the scene without a stratch on me--unless my twisted ankle counts. But every thought since then has been excruciating. It's like my mind is trying to kill me slowly. Each new thought brings a new set of knives with it. I'm being attacked from the inside out.
I need to unarm myself. I need to get this weight off my chest before it kills me. I need a priest to forgive me. I need my mom to tell me everything is gonna be okay. I need Daz to not blame me. I need to talk to the only person who'll understand.
Where's Tory when I need him?
Better yet, where was I when he needed me?
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I'm in the mirror in Yuri's room sticking my arms through the blue and white button-down she gave me when I catch her staring at me through the mirror.
She don't notice me smirking at her until I start buttoning up my shirt. Then she catches my eye in the mirror and rolls hers.
