• 𝐍𝐨𝐝𝐮𝐬 𝐓𝐨𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐧𝐬 • ᴛ.ᴄʜᴀʟᴀᴍᴇᴛ

• 5 •

• Nodus Tollens •
- the realization the plot of your life doesn't make sense to you anymore——that although you thought you were following the arc of the story, you keep finding yourself immersed in passages you don't understand, that don't even seem to belong in the same genre——which requires you to go back and reread the chapters you had originally skimmed to get the good parts, only to learn that all along you were supposed to choose your own adventure

"Jess, I don't think this is going to help," I say. Nothing would ever help me get over him. I could just simply never forget him. I could never forget his scent. His wavy, fluffy hair. How I ran my hands through his hands while he laid his head on my lap. Or just the feeling of Timothee being next to me. I wasted almost 7 years of my life on him for it to just end like that. I couldn't even comprehend the fact that he left. Well, I kicked him out.
"Yes, it will. Come on!" She said and ran. I didn't have the energy to run. I walked behind her and tried to enjoy the view of the sunset.
"Jess...I want to go home." I say once I realize that we were in Timothee's and I's spot. When I moved to LA we chose this spot for us to meet. And it just stayed like that. If we had an argument and one of us left we would find each other here. We always knew that we would find each other here.
"Lola...look it's been 4 weeks." Jess explains.
"Exactly, I can't move in 4 weeks-" I say.
"Well he already did." Jessica says making my heart sink. I hate that he's with her. Only if people knew that he cheated on me with her. Well how couldn't he? She's literally Johnny Depp's daughter. She's prettier than anyone I've seen. Of course Timothee would want to be with her.
Jessica lifts up a box with something that I can't see. I walk closer and realize she had gotten Timothee's hoodie.
"You have to let go." She says and pulls out a lighter. I rip the hoodie out of her hands and hold it tight. I breath in Timothee's scent. I can't let go. I will not let go.
  "What is wrong with you, Jess?" I ask in a loud tone. Obviously, my actions surprised her. She looks hurt and runs her hand through her wavy hair.
  "I'm just trying to help you, Lola-"
  "I don't need help! I'm perfectly fine." I say with a stern look making her eyes water.
  "This is not the Lola I know." Jessica says.
  "People change." I say and gulp. I didn't want to be rude to Jess but she was getting in my business. It's my problem if I don't want to let go. Why does she care? She shouldn't force me into forgetting him. It won't happen anyways.
  "Get help, Lola." Jessica says and makes her way back to her car. I watch as she drives off. Great. How am I supposed to get home?
  I grab my phone and call a number I knew would pick up. But then it didn't pick up. I sigh and look through my contacts. Only one would answer. Oh god she's going to hate me after this.

"Hello?"

"Kendall?"

"Lola?"

  I sigh as I get in her car. She gives me a weak smile and proceeds to drive after I close the door. Us riding in her purple car was all we loved to do. Take pictures. Gossip about guys Kendall had and talk about how Timothee and I were endgame.
  "How you holding up?" Kendall asks trying to brake the awkward silence. I turn my head to look at her and give her the same weak smile. She notices and my heart just shatters there. Again. I let all my tears out and Kendall hugs me as she drives. "He's not wroth it, Lola."
  "I don't think I'll ever stop loving him." I say with honesty. Kendall turns on the radio and a slow sad song plays.
  "Sorry, let me change it-"
  "No! I need to let it out." I say as she keeps one arm around me. She sighs but let's the sad song play. I close my eyes for a moment and pretend that my world just didn't end. I pretend that the love of my life is not with someone else. Pretend the love of my life still loves me. I pretend everything is perfect...again.

~~~~~~~~~

  "Ugh I will so marry Draco." I say taking a handful of popcorn and shove it in my mouth. I was wrapped around in Timothee's arms. Watching Harry Potter like we do every winter. I can already see him roll his eyes. Not my fault Tom Felton is so hot.
  "No you won't." He says and takes the remote in his hand. He pauses the movie and stares at me.
  "Jeez Timothee. Don't be so jealous." I say with a smile. Pepsi comes over and sits on the coach with us. I smile and we both stare at our beautiful dog fall asleep. Well it's more of my dog. We've only had him for 3 months. My mother said he didn't have much time left. So she sent Pepsi to me in LA. She knew Pepsi would enjoy her time with us. "Pepsi! Come on, boy."
  "I think, he's sleeping." Timothee says. I get out of his arms and scoot over to get Pepsi. My hands stop when I don't feel him breathing. My eyes widened and I freeze. "Lola? What's wrong?"
  "Pepsi?" I ask, my voice cracking. Water started filling up my eyes. Timothee rushed over to us.
  "Pepsi?" He ask. Timothee slightly shakes him. He doesn't move making me sob. Timothee quickly hugs me. While I hug Pepsi. There he laid. Old. Lifeless. But he left this world happy. We gave him everything he wanted. At least we get to know that he left this world happy.
  "You're such a good boy, Pepsi." I say as tears roll down my cheeks. I could feel my warm tears being wiped off my face by Timothee. I stay there with Pepsi for what seems like ages. Just thinking of how we got him. I was 7. I wanted a puppy so badly. And know my puppy is all gone. He got to see me at my happiest. And at my lowest. "Let's go Timothee."
  "Come here." Timothee says and opens up his arms. Timothee always makes me feel better. I can not seriously imagine what I will do if we ever break up. Of course, we won't. Timothee loves me. Timothee loves me. And I love him.

~~~~~~~~~