• 𝐍𝐨𝐝𝐮𝐬 𝐓𝐨𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐧𝐬 • ᴛ.ᴄʜᴀʟᴀᴍᴇᴛ

• 7 •

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@lola.madore: young

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I stare at my phone and ignore the call. My mom has been calling me all day long. Probably just wanting to talk about the tattoo I got a week ago. I'm 23. I don't live in New York anymore. I'm my own person now. She can't stop me from getting a tattoo anymore. Well, not after what she said when Timothee and I were together.
"You're seriously not going to pick up?" I hear Tyler say across the table. I look up at him as my phone keeps vibrating. My fork slowly moves my food around the plate. I stare at the plate almost full. I just can't eat anymore. I just can't. Mentally. Or physically. I don't know what's wrong with me.
"She's just going to get mad." I say and put my fork down. I notice how Tyler's eyes glance from my eyes down to the plate. He closes his eyes and sighs. He grabs my fork and grabs a bit of pasta. He brings it up slowly to my mouth. I stare at the food and looks back to him. I sigh and finally let him feed me. And I ate half of the food. It was weird. It was like if when Timothee, a part of me left. A part of the things I loved left...along with him.
"Lola, you seriously can't be like this anymore." Tyler says as I place the cup of water on the table. I sigh and stare at my wrists.
"I'm trying, Ty." I say.
"Doesn't look like it-"
"It's hard, Tyler." I cut him off. "I mentally and physically don't know how to stop loving this boy."
"I know it's hard...but it's about to be 3 months now." Tyler says, placing his hands in front of mine.
"I have no idea what to do next." I say. I stare at the snake on my arm and sigh. I seriously don't know what I do next. My next move was the spend the rest of my life with Timothee and marry him. But guess that's not happing anymore.
  "You should take a few months away." Tyler suggest. "Tell Johnson. He'll understand."
  "Do you really think I should?" I ask.
  "Yeah...or you can finally go into acting now." Tyler says. "You always said you loved it."
  I think back on a job opportunity that Johnson had told me about. And i remember that there was a role that really stood out to me.
  "I think I'll take a week or two without the internet for right now." I say making Tyler smile at me.
  "That's even better." He says trying to cheer me up. The sad thing is that I already see Lily and Timothee in my head all day. Smiling. Kissing. Holding hands. It's going to kill me.

~~~~~~~~~

"Timothee, I fucking saw you!" I basically yell at the top of my lungs. We were in my room. My parents were gone for the weekend and Timothee and I just came from a party. I saw him flirting with my old best friend. The one that helped me in the first place to be with Timothee.
"You're blind then." He says throwing off his jacket and putting on my bed. I pick it up with anger and throw it at his chest. He doesn't move back but instead launches himself at me. Pinning me against the wall and trapping me. "Tell me. Why would I be flirting with her?"
"Y-You tell me." I say, stuttering a bit. It was never a good sign when Timothee pinned me against the wall and stared at me like he was going to eat me. I would usually be into this and his hand wrapped around my neck like a necklace but I felt different this time. I felt unsafe this time. I ignored it at first and just went with it.
"You're the only one I want." Timothee whispers as he slowly starts to kiss my neck. His hands reach my waist and his hands continue to go down my body. Timothee turns me around and we walk over to my bed, kissing along the way. I started to feel safe again and let him get on top of me. He took of my shirt and that's when things escalated. Usually, he likes to take his time and tease me but tonight was different. He got in me and when he placed his hand on my neck, I knew things weren't going to end well. At first I let him but I started to feel uncomfortable. I felt tears run down my cheeks as he sped up. I started to hit his hands and finally the word left my lips.
"Red." I say. Timothee quickly pulls out and tries to catch his breath. He realizes that I was crying and his eyes instantly fill up with water. He hesitates touching me again but slowly he wraps his arms around me.
"I'm so sorry." He says and wipes my tears away. "I don't know what happened, I lost control."
"It's ok." I say and sniff. I grab his hand and reassure him that I'm alright. He looked so disappointed. He gets up and leaves me on the bed. He get dressed and gets in the bathroom. He starts there for a while. When he comes back out he's more calm. He gathers his things and heads for my bedroom door. "Where are you going?"
"Home. I'm sorry, Lola. I just can't stay with you knowing that I hurt you." He says and his eyes start to water again. I know it wasn't right what he did but he didn't even realize what he was doing.
"You didn't hurt me. You couldn't possibly hurt me." I say.
"Lola, you were crying. I obviously hurt you." I stare at his watery eyes. They were so red, guess he cried in the bathroom too.
"You didn't. Please stay." I grab his hand softly and pout. He stares at our hands for a while. After a big of thinking he lets go of my hands and leaves my room.
Maybe that's what we needed. We needed a bit of space for tonight. Our 3 year anniversary is next week. Hopefully, by then we're like normal again. Timothee loves me. Timothee loves me. And I love him.