• 𝐍𝐨𝐝𝐮𝐬 𝐓𝐨𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐧𝐬 • ᴛ.ᴄʜᴀʟᴀᴍᴇᴛ

• 11 •

"So how are you doing?" The sad curly head in front of me asks. I chose Timothee. Yeah...I know, I'm stupid.
"Are you serious? You cheat on me and come back 4 months later to ask how I'm fucking doing?" I ask. You could clearly hear how hurt I was.
"Lola, I'm really sorry...I was going through stuff an-"
"And you think that's an excuse for what you did to me?" I cut Timothee off. I had so many things to say to him. Maybe that's how I would move on. Maybe I just needed to let all my anger out on him.
  "No...I don't Lola." Timothee said making my blood boil.
  "Do you know how much you hurt me? Do you know how many time I cried because of yo-"
  "No, I don't really want to know because I would hate myself more. I'm the worst person I know for hurting you-"
  "Yeah you are." I cut off Timothee once again. I scoff at the sight of him looking disappointed. Suddenly, Timothee really started to seem pathetic to me.
  "I'm sorry, Lola. I'm not sure what else you want me to do." Timothee says. "Do you think you could ever forgive me?"
  "How long did you cheat on me?" I ask ignoring his question.
  "Does it really matte-"
"How long did you cheat on me?" I ask once again.
"...5 months." Timothee says hesitant to answer at first.
"That's all I needed to know." I say getting up as the tears build up in my eyes. From the corner of my eyes I could see how Timothee slowly let out a few tears.
  "Lola, I love you. I'm really truly sorry. You deserve better than me." Timothee said making me stop gathering my things. I deserve you, Timothee. I don't want anyone's love but yours. I need your love and care. I need you. I need you to live. You're my only reason.
  "You know...my heart wants to forgive you," I say and watch as Timothee grows a small smile,"but my mind doesn't. I just hope she worth it."
  I leave the coffee shop at 11 pm. It's a cloudy dark night. Somehow I could feel my sadness in the air. The wind was cold and blew my hair in all directions. I truly meant what I said. My heart wants to forgive him so bad...but my mind won't let me. I have too much pride and a big ego. Would it really hurt if I forgave him?

~~~~~~~~~~

  "WHY ARE YOU LYING?" I yelled at the top of my lungs. I would love to say that my relationship with Timothee is perfect. But I would be lying just like Timothee.
  "I'M NOT LYING! SHE WAS THE ONE WHO KISSED ME-" Timothee argued.
"AND SO YOU KISSED HER BACK?" I cut Timothee off.
"YOU'RE BLIND!" Timothee yelled as his hands messed up his air. I know what I saw. I've seen it some many times. It's making me tired. And it's somehow always with the same person he tells me not worry about.
"TIMOTHEE, THIS IS THE FIFTH TIME I SEE YOU WITH HER-"
"OH AND NOW I CANT HANG OUT WITH PEOPLE?"
"You can." I stop yelling because I felt like fainting any moment. "But you flirt with her and now you've even kissed her!"
"I wasn't flirting with her! When are you gonna get in that tiny little head that I don't like her?" Timothee says as he sits down on my bed. I sigh and look at the ground and feel myself slowly doze off. It was like when I fall asleep...just that it all happened very fast.

"Lola?"

"Lola?! Are you ok?"

"Lola..."

I open my eyes to find myself being welcomed by the bright hospital lights. Groaning I try to sit up but I'm quickly pushed back down lightly. I look at Timothee which I earn a smile.
"Hey baby...I'm sorry-" Timothee starts but is cut off by the door being opened and soon the doctor is the foot of the bed. The doctor stares at the papers and sighs.
"Lola, when was the last time you ate?" The doctor asks making me think back. I hadn't ate in days. I had to though. I had to look my best for the photo shoot that I had the day before. I didn't think this would happen.
"Uhm...I-I don't remember." I say hesitating to answer. Timothee's head shoots up and you could see the pure disappointment in his eyes. I look away from him and focus on the doctor.
"That's what I thought. You're body needs food, Lola. You are literally running on the small extra fat you have left...another day without eating and well...let's say you wouldn't like it." The doctor keeps on explaining and making think about my job. And my health. After about a couple of minutes, the doctor leaves the room. Leaving me all alone with a disappointed Timothee.
"I thought we were through this, Lola." Timothee says bringing up my past. I recovered...but I can still hear my dad's voice whispering in my ear telling me that I'm too big. That I shouldn't eat that chocolate bar. It'll make me fat and ugly, he would say to me.
I send my parents money every month. I have to ignore the fact that my father cause so much pain in me. He's the cause of all my problems. Yet he doesn't know what he's done to me. And the fact that I will forever love him hurst me. Because I also know that I will forever hate him.
"That's not about that...Timothee." I say and slowly take his hand in mine.
"I wasn't flirting with her...and I didn't kiss her." Timothee says with his head down as he plays with my hand.
"I believe you." I say as I pull my hand from his. I bring my hand to his face and cup his cheek. The tears from
his eyes slowly slipping away. Making my eyes fill up with water. I'm taken back when Timothee lays his head on my lap. His chair now very close to my bed. I could hear his quiet, yet so loud, sobs.
"Lola?" Timothee asks as he sniffs. "Can you promise me something?"
"What is it?" I say holding back tears. Timothee lifts his head up and his messy curls hang from his head. His red puffy eyes soften mine. His hands reach my hands and he wraps them around his. Timothee's lips find our hands and he closes his eyes.
"Never leave me. Don't leave me, Lola." Timothee says as he opens his eyes. I nod and he pulls his hand away. His pinky is soon in front of my face making me confused. A couple of seconds later I realize what it meant. I burst laughing as my last tears of sadness rolled down my cheeks. Soon tears of joy were bursting out.
"Pinky promise?" Timothee says with a childish like smile. I nod my head and put my pinky out.
"I pinky promise." I say with a smile. Timothee reaches my body and soon we're wrapped around in each other's arms. Love filled the room making me feel warm.

~~~~~~~~

"Lola!" I hear Timothee say as I reach my car making me roll my eyes.
"What?" I turn around, clearly angered at Timothee. He looks down at me with sad eyes and puts his hands in his pockets.
"You promised." Timothee says. Almost like a whisper but I clearly heard it. I scoff at him and stare at him with so much hatred. But so much love at the same time. Just like my father.
"I didn't leave...you did it all by yourself." I finally answer and turn back around. I get into my car and watch as it starts to rain again. I look out the window and watch as Timothee walks back into the coffee shop. Hands in his pocket, which his head down. His tall figure slowly fading away. I still love you...even though I shouldn't.