Until we meet again (A war romance) (#Wattys2015)

Part 6 - Matthew and Diana

Matthew:

It finally happened. They needed more men at the front. I thought that it would feel exciting, but I just felt empty, and alone. ‘If I die tomorrow’, I thought, ‘will I be forgotten? Di won’t forget me, not right away, but what about when she settles down with another man who steals her heart and has children, they won’t even know my name.’

I couldn’t believe I had just thought that!

But there was something more that was pulling at my mind. That young man who I had spoken to died- and not of natural causes. When we woke up, he was gone, and later that afternoon, we heard a gunshot ring out, and it wasn’t from far away. He had been court-martialled. He had tried to run away, and he had been caught, and shot. I didn’t even have a name to feel sorry for. I looked over at the empty bed, and wondered if I would be like him. I could pretend that I was brave and fearless, but deep down, I was just a 19 year-old boy, who just wanted to see his girlfriend again at Christmas. What if, when the whistle blew, I couldn’t- wouldn’t move? What if I died a coward? What would Di think, what would my family think? Dad would go, and so would Pete; I would be the weak link in my family chain. I think what I was afraid of most, was disappointing those I love. I know it sounds crazy, as there were loads of other things to worry about besides what my family would think, but I did-because if I died a coward, I wouldn’t be able to explain that I had stayed behind for them. I would just be a coward, just another stupid, worthless coward. I was scared.

 Diana:

I had to go down to the shop to buy our paper the next morning. Usually, Paddy the boy down the road bought one for us and delivered it on his way home, but he had left, just like everyone else. Mother refused to leave her room now, and I refused to speak to her. I still felt secretly guilty, but I had no intention of showing it. I believed that that slap had knocked some much needed sense into her. I just hoped she wouldn’t judge me anymore. I went into the shop, and was greeted by Rita.

“Hello, Rita, where’s Bert?” I felt stupid after realising what I had just said.

“He’s gone off with the rest, but I said I’d look after the shop until he got back.”

“You sure you’re up to it? If you ever need any help…”

“You’re sweet, but no thank you. I’m sure I can manage! Is Matthew gone too?”

“Yes,”

“Don’t fret, dear, he’ll be home soon, as will Bertie.”

I smiled. “Can I have a paper please?”

After I left, I bought some bread, and a few vegetables for dinner. Both shops were being run by wives and daughters. Every now and then, I would bump into a boy while walking, but apart from those moments, it was as if all men had disappeared off the face of the earth…

Matthew:

We had been marching all day, and Will and I had to drag our feet along the floor. We were nearly there, and in the distance, we could hear the sound of gunfire and explosions. The sky was grey and miserable, and so were the rest of the soldiers around me. We were tired, and just wanted a warm bed, and a good night’s sleep- but deep down, I knew I wasn’t going to have either of those for a while…

We arrived at the trenches just as the darkness started to pull the light from our sight. We were greeted by a chubby officer, with a round face, and red cheeks. The trenches, sounded a lot more exciting than they actually were. They were actually a muddy pit in the ground. There were some wooden crates along the floor and sandbags lined the top of the trenches, to protect us from enemy fire. This was my new home. The chubby officer was saying something about going over the top, but then a bomb went off nearby, and I couldn’t hear him anymore. By the time my ears had stopped ringing, he had finished with what he had to say, and told us that he needed someone to stay awake. Will and I volunteered to take shifts.

“So, we’re going over the top,” I said to Will, after the others had retreated to their dugout sleeping quarters for the night. They didn’t look comfortable, but they were beds nonetheless. I was regretting my decision to stay awake.

“Are you nervous?”

Will shrugged, “I don’t know. I guess I’ll know when they tell us to go, but for now I feel- nothin’.”

“You need to tell them, Will.”

“Why?”

“Because then they’ll send you back, and you’ll be safe,”

“My dad won’t be.”

“At least you’re dad’s old enough…”

“What, old enough to die? Is that what you’re sayin’? I would rather die than know I had let my dad die for me. I don’t want that burden!”

My voice softened,

“Just- be careful out there. You’re too young.”

“I know, you too.”

I smiled reassuringly. “I’ll take first shift.”