Until we meet again (A war romance) (#Wattys2015)

Matthew

Everything was dull. As if nothing even existed anymore, not even me. Everything felt meaningless, pointless. This wasn’t real, it couldn’t be real. Of all the moments she could have come to see me, why did it have to be then? I never would have done it again, never. Even while I was kissing her, I knew it was wrong. I had no intention of making it last. I was just so-tired of no one understanding what it was like to be me. To have seen all that, and to have gone through it alone. To come back and find that everything had changed around me, including myself. Diana was supposed to understand, but she didn’t. I understand that now, but I could hardly ask her to come with me and see everything herself. Her being there for me should have been enough for me, but it wasn’t.

Annie and I didn’t really speak now. Whenever she came to see me, it was awkward. It pained her just to look at me now, and I knew it. Why did I have to ruin everything without even meaning to?

That car crash, as horrible as it was, was a chance to show Diana I was there for her, as she had been for me. I remember the look on her face when she remembered me. Her eyes- they weren’t full of happiness, they weren’t full of love, they were full of hurt. It saddened me that all I was to her now, was a boy who betrayed her.

I was going back to France tomorrow, and I wasn’t ready. I wasn’t ready to say goodbye. I couldn’t leave her upset at me while I go off. What if I never came back? I couldn’t bear to think of it…

I had to see her, I had to make things right, even if it meant saying goodbye to her forever.

 ***

Author's note:

Hi, I'm sorry this chapter is so short, but I've had a bad day today, and I just don't think I could write very much. I'll try to write a longer part tomorrow. This chapter is dedicated to CaitlinWickens for:

A- voting for every part of my story

B- for following me

C-being an amazing friend to me

Read, vote, comment

(Promise to write a longer chapter tomorrow)