The Dr. Max Jaxon Collaxion

Dr. Max Jaxon and the Sliver of Hope

Dr. Max Jaxon was first and farmost a scientist. But above all he was an archeologist like Indiana Jones but using science to find artifacts. He always kept the artifacts though because he knew that museums were for children and communists.

The way he used science to find artifacts was to shoot ultra powerful laser beams (UPLB) into the ground to find hidden artifacts hidden in caves long ago. The UPLB were shot from satellites orbiting earth at 10,000 miles in the air. When the UPLB found a valuable artifact, it would send a message to Dr. Max Jaxon's smart phone with data like the artifact location, when it was made, who made it, how old it was, and how "MAX AWESOME" it was. "MAX AWESOME" is a level from one to ten that is based on scientific knowledge about artifacts. There was other data too but "MAX AWESOME" was the best.

"HOLY HECKO!!!!!!!!!!!!!" blurted Dr. Max Jaxon's smart phone robotically, "Artifact located with "MAX AWESOME" value of 9.9!"
9.9 is the highest "MAX AWESOME" value because Dr. Max Jaxon knows that the best is yet to come which is also his personal philosophy.

Dr. Max Jaxon's smart phone named Jason was like Siri except waaaaay smarter and sounded like Arnold Schwarzenegger from the first Terminator movie.

"The artifact is located on Mount Kilimanjaro, the tallest mountain in Africa and also an active volcano. Shall I charter us a private plane?" said Jason excitedly.

"No, we need to leave right now so we are taking Lucy because you know how important this is to me," said Dr. Max Jaxon, starting to get annoyed because he knew where this was going. Lucy was Max Jaxon's private superplane, kind of like Kitt from Knight Rider, but with a super sexy siren voice. Obviously Lucy and Jason did not get along very well since they are always competing about who is the smartest robot.

"Not Lucy!" complained Jason lamely, "She almost smashed us into a mountain last time! We almost died! I won't do it!" He said cowardly.

Dr. Max Jaxon smiled because he had a comeback he had saved up for at least two weeks, "Watch out Jason, or I will make you two get married then I will plug you into her USB plugs!" WHAM-O!!!

"DANG! You put me in my place sir! Let's get going."

"Don't forget it Jason," smirked Dr. Max Jaxon. Then Dr. Max Jaxon packed up tons of scientific equipment and headed for the hangar.

"Hello Dr. Jaxon, Hello LAME-son," piped Lucy smugly.

"It's JAY-son Lucy you know that," retorted Jason whinily.

"You two need to settle down," said Dr. Max Jaxon sternly.

"Of course Dr. Jaxon, everybody knows that JAY-son just wants to plug into my USB plugs," said Lucy. Everyone laughed because they knew she was really talking about robot sex. Jason didn't laugh.

"No I don't you idiot," Jason chuckled. Everyone stopped laughing and stared at Jason.

"You went too far Jason," groaned Dr. Max Jaxon. "Calm down or I will SHUT YOU DOWN!" Once again Dr. Max Jaxon used his quick wit to unfuse a situation. A few minutes later they landed at the top of Mount Kilimanjaro next to the volcano blow hole.

"Dr. Jaxon the artifact is in a cave 50 ft. from the edge of the lava," informed Jason. "Extreme caution is advised."

Dr. Max Jaxon put on his leather jacket and special lava-proof motorcycle racing helmet. He lifted the visor and said, "Let's roll."

Dr. Max Jaxon's sidekick Danny Sperko followed him out of the airplane hangar bay. Danny and Dr. Max Jaxon had been friends since Danny was a kid and Dr. Max Jaxon saved him from a gang war. Danny was all grown up now and married with four kids. His kids loved him tons and called him Papo, except little Lizzy. Little Lizzy had a lisp and called him Dado. Danny's wife never went to school because they got married when they were just graduating from high school. That is why Danny needed this job so bad because of supporting his family. His wife was kind of fat from having tons of kids but Danny didn't care because they loved each other so much. Also his daughter with the lisp has a heart condition.