The Search for Home

CHAPTER 5 - Comforting Words

Sophie pushed open the heavy gray door to reveal a small, basic room with white walls and white vinyl tiled floor. It reminds me of a waiting room in a hospital just without the smell of chemical cleaners and death. "Take a seat" Sophie smiles as she gestures towards a group of chairs before walking through one of the other 2 doors. I slowly took a seat so that I didn't wake up Briar and my Mom took a seat next to me. We weren't left waiting for long before Sophie walks back into the room with another woman following close behind. She has white, coily hair, green eyes and her skin is so pale that the only way I can describe it is ghost-like. "Hello there, I am Miss Lisa-Anne Hylerson but you can call me Lisa. You must be Billie?" she smiles brightly as she extenders her hand out towards me. "Yes that's me, and this is my Mom, Maggie" I smile nervously. I extend my own freehand towards hers, and she grabs it so tightly it feels as if she is draining all the blood from within it before shaking my hand vigorously. "I have been dying to meet you!" She exclaims. "When Sophie here told me that she had found a potential adopter for little Briar over here I was determined to meet whoever it was that thought they were brave enough for the challenge and I might say, you are a lot younger than I expected" She finally drops my hand and I pull it back quickly before she can take it again. "Yeah, I guess I am a little young but... I start to say. "But she is totally capable as anyone else to take up the role as a Mother and has a strong family unit to support her," My Mom says over the top of me as she stands and extends her own hand towards Lisa. "Of course, I have no doubt" I watch as a twinge of anger passes through her eyes before she pushes it down and smiles, happily shaking my Mom's hand. "All we have left to do is collect Briar's possessions and sign the last few forms, and then she can be released" Sophie smiles as she tries to get Lisa's attention back to the plan at hand. "Maggie would it be alright if you stayed down here with Briar, we don't really allow more than 1 visitor around the children at once and it shouldn't take us to long, she doesn't really have too much for us to pack". "Of course" My Mom smiles towards Sophie as she takes her hand back from Lisa's grasp. "Here Mom" I whisper as I very slowly untangle Briar's hands from my hair and place her in my Mom's arms. "We will be here when you get back" My Mom smiles comfortingly as she senses my nervousness. "Alrighty, let us go" Sophie chuckles as she directs me towards a different door. I look back behind my shoulder as I take the door from Sophie to see Lisa walk behind the door they came out from and a sense of relief passed through me because it meant she wasn't following us.

"Here we are, the 1 – 4 years girls room" Sophie smiles as she ushers me in. The room is similar to the entrance room downstairs with the same white walls and tiled floor and it is about the same size. By the number of beds and cots that it holds, it sleeps 7 girls, 4 in single beds and 3 in cribs but for a room for 7 girls, it is very small. There is no wardrobe or chest of draws to be seen, not even a box of toys but most of them are kept in the communal room downstairs for all the children to play with together. All that the room contains is a changing table, 3 cribs, 4 singles beds and a couple of night lights. Above all the beds is a piece of paper taped to the wall with their name written on it, I guess to help visitors and new carers determine which bed is for which child. As I walk around the room, I spot a crib in the far corner with Briar's name written above it in bold black writing. "Where are her things," I ask as I look in her crib to find just a small, thin gray fluffy blanket. "There should be a drawer under her crib which contains her possessions. They keep them close to the child so that no one's possessions get mixed up" Sophie explains as she kneels down and pulls open the drawer to find it only half full. "Is that it?" I ask as I kneel down to her left. "Yes, unfortunately" She sighs. "When the car crash happened, Briar and her parents were all transported to the hospital straight from the scene, and we were called from there. Briar had suffered a minor concussion which was nothing compared to what her parents had suffered before they passed but because she was so young, they kept her in for 2 days so that they could monitor her. By the time she was released from the hospital and was registered into the care system, it had been a week and when a couple of carers were sent out to collect her things, the owner of the apartment her parents were renting had already cleared the place ready for new tenants so all her possessions and clothes that she owns now are from donations made to the orphanage and charities that we work with" Sophie explains sadly as she pulls out the small pink backpack from the draw and starts to pack it with the clothes, dummies and other accessories that laid in the drawer. "So she owns nothing from when her parents were alive?" I ask in shock. How could the owner throw out and donate all their belongings and not think about the child that is laying in a hospital bed, parentless? Some people are just soul-less. "No, she does have the blanket that is in her bed. She was wrapped in that when she was transported to the hospital so it hasn't left her side since. I think it was wrapped around her when she was in the car seat. Luckily it didn't get any blood on it in the crash, so so she got to keep it" Sophie replied sadly as she passed me the bag before getting back up onto her feet and leaning into the crib to grab it. I get back up onto my feet and Sophie hands me the blanket before kicking the drawer shut with her foot and ripping the name tag off the wall.

We slowly make our way back downstairs and back to the entrance room where my Mom is sat with Briar cuddled up on her lap but awake and with my Mom's jacket laid across her small body. Her eyes light up when they meet mine. "Hey there," I smile as I walk over. I place the little pink bag on the chair next to my Mom's and I kneel down in front of her. I pull her jacket off of Briar's small body and offer her the blanket. She smiles widely and pulls it into her arms happily before laying back down against my Mom. I take a seat next to my Mom as we wait for Sophie to collect the last bunch of paperwork from the office. Briar climbs across my Mom's lap and onto mine and contentedly lays her head against my shoulder and cuddles into my chest, grabbing the neck of my hoodie with her fist. "That was something off about that Lisa women, right?" My Mom whispers in my ear, worried that she could walk in at any moment. "Yeah, I'm not sure what that was all about" I reply in a whisper as wrap the blanket around Briar's petite frame. "She didn't like that I defended you. Maybe she has a god complex and me defending you threatened that or something" My Mom suggests as she places a kiss on my cheek. Before I get the chance to reply, Sophie bursts into the room with a large stack of paperwork and a couple of pens. I couldn't help but let my mouth drop. "I know, I know. It looks like a lot but trust me, most of it is for me to sign. It shouldn't take us more than 5 to 10 minutes" Sophie smiles enthusiastically as she drops the paper onto the chair next to me and pulls out the first form, handing it over to me. I pass Briar over to my Mom who happily takes her as I get to work reading and signing everything Sophie gives me.

After what felt like HOURS but was really only 10 minutes, I only had 1 last form to sign and then Briar would be mine. "This form explains that you will be visited by me in 2 weeks to see how she is settling in and to help with any problems and then I may visit every couple of months for the first year" Sophie explains as she hands me the last form. "Sign here to say that you understand" Sophie points to the last box and I quickly sign my name underneath. "Congratulations Mom" Sophie cheers. "She is all yours". I pull Briar into my arms, swinging her around in circles as she lets out a loud chuckle, making my heart feel so full. She is MINE, forever and always. "Are you ready to see your new home?" I ask Briar as I bend down to grab her bag and her blanket, in which she dropped as we were spinning. She nods her head happily in agreement. Sophie hands me a large ring bound folder with Briar's name printed on the front. "This contains everything you will need such as medical records, birth certificate, proof of adoption and my contact details. I will get in contact with you about my first home visit in about a week" Sophie explains as my Mom takes the folder from me so that my arms are free to hold Briar. "I am so excited for you!" Sophie exclaims as she hugs me and my Mom in turn before squatting down to Briar's level. "You be a good girl, okay? I will see you in 2 weeks to visit your new home and you can show me all your new toys and all your new clothes, okay?" Sophie explains with a huge smile as Briar jumps into her arms. "Okay," Briar replies as Sophie places a quick kiss on her head. Briar jumps out of her grasp and lifts her arms, motioning me to lift her. I pick her up and together we wave goodbye to Sophie. Briar is happly waving goodbye until the door to the orphanage shuts and Sophie is out of sight, and then she starts to scream. "What's wrong baby?" I ask as I shuffle her in my arms so that I can see her face. Briar continues to scream as she points towards the door. "I'm sorry baby but Sophie has to go to her house, and we have to go to ours" I explain as we continue to walk along the street towards my Mom's car. Briar continues to scream and scream and scream, so I pull the hood over my face so that I don't grab anyone's attention and I wrap my arms tighter around Briar. I gently guide her head to my shoulder. "Everything is going to be okay" I whisper into her ear over and over again until her screams start to quiet down to a low shout. "Come back" Briar repeats as we continue walking. "She is going to come back baby, don't worry. She is going to come to see your new house. Are you ready to see your new house?" I ask as I try to distract her. She shakes her head slowly. I place a gentle kiss on her forehead before pointing towards my Mom's car which is about 4 meters away. "Look, there's the car" I explain. My Mom unlocks the car and places Briar's bag in the boot along with her purse but not before grabbing a tissue and using it to wipe the tears and snot that is covering Briar's face. I slowly unlock the backdoor and place Briar in the car seat but the moment her butt touches the seat, she starts to shake and cry once again. I quickly pull her out and hold her tightly against my chest. "What's wrong baby?" I ask her, concerned. "No car" Briar cries as she grabs my hoodie with her fists and rests her head against my shoulder. "I know you're scared baby, but it's okay. We are going to be okay, I promise" I say quietly as I rock her gently in my arms. "No car" She mumbles into my shoulder. "Baby, that is the only way we can get home. We can't walk because it is too far" I explain. "How about this, you have 2 options, okay? You can sit in the car seat alone or I will sit next to you. Which one?" She lifts her head up and points to my chest. "Me?" I ask. "You want me to sit next to you?" She nods her head in agreement, so I place her back in the car seat and strap her in. She starts to cry and shake again when I shut her door but calms down a little when I shuffle in the middle seat, next to her. My Mom starts the car and begins the 45-minute-long drive home.