Love at the 2nd sight ! (Ziam)

Chapter 4

Heyho there, i'm sorry it took me so long but i didn't feel like writing a part on my cellphone ://
But here it goes, chapter 4 :p
I'm skipping time in the next chapters, just wanted you to know:))

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*4 months later**ZAYNS POV*

I ignored the letter i recieved, i knew exactly who had sent it to me and it scared me to death that he knew where i was living now but i couldn't change it, just wait and see what happens, nothing happened. In the last 4 months i got really close to Louis and Liam, they're great lads, i like Harry too but he's so protective over his sister and he always tells that he knows i'm going to hurt her. Me and Jamie? We're doing great. Well.. maybe not that great, i don't know what it is.. i'm sure i love her and she's the cutest girl i've ever known, she's caring, reliable, but she can be a total child and have fun. She's perfect, don't get that wrong i'm happy to have her.. but sometimes i feel like something's missing. I don't know why and maybe it's just imagination and i'll get over it soon but it's still there and confusing me. 

Liam came over today because Harry and Louis are on a roadtrip this weekend, Jamie is with Louis' sister Raphaela on a little vacation in germany and Niall is visiting his family in Ireland, so we're both bored and decided to have a movies night. 
I was in the kitchen preparing some snacks while Liam went to my room to get some sweatpants and blankets and stuff.
'ZAYN?!' he suddenly shouted. 
'Liam?' i shouted back.
'Get your ass up here, now' he sounded scared, worried and a little angry. Uggh Zayn, what did you this time? But i had no ide what i could have fone wrong so i sprinted up the stairs into my room, there he stood, the piece of paper with the threat, tears building up in his eyes, his face holding expressions like sadness, fear and anger. 
'Why the hell didn't you told me about this? What is this about? Who sent it to you? Fag? Are you gay? Zayn, what is this?' he whispered in the end a tear made its way down his cheek. It hurt to see him crying everything in me was screaming at me to pull him into a hug and tell him that everything is fine but i couldn't, i stood there in shock and didn't know what to do, they can't find out about my past, they just can't, they would hate me, even leave me i can't let that happen, not again. 
'Z..Zayn?' Liams voice was shaking ' You know that you can trust me with everything, please just tell what this is about, i won't let anything happen to you, i promise, you can't scare me away, what ever it is Zayn pleas, pretty please just tell me.' he pleaded. I had to tell him, i need to tell him. I pulled the stupid letter out of his hand and pulled him close to me, he placed his head on my shoulder and i tried to calm him down telling him, well whispering in his ear that everything would be fine, that i trust him, that he doesn't need to worry and nothing would happen to me. I know i was lying, i wasn't sure if anything would happen. 
I sat down on my bed and pullen him in my lap, again he layed his head on my shoulder. When he calmed down a bit he looked me in the eyes ' Tell me Zayn, please..'  
I watched him, his eyes a little red from the tears, his beautiful brown eyes, i knew i could trust him with my life so i began ' Okay Liam.. listen, on my old school in bradford i was one of the popular kids, everyone liked me, girls always tried to flirt with me, Justin, Ryan, Chaz, Christian and Mitch were my best friends, i thought.. one day i met this boy his name was Jason we became close and.. ' i swallowed the tears. Liam put his hand on my cheek ' everything's fine Zayn, i'm right here' i took a deep breath and gave him a weak smile ' .. and we fell for each other' Liam gasped. I gave him a questioning look but he shook his head lightly and gave me a weak smile. ' we started dating but we didn't tell anyone, when we came out 2 months later first everyone accepted us, again a month later the bullying started, Mitch and his friends were worst, he changed a lot he wasn't even friends with Justin and the others anymore. One day, they even started beating me up, but i was strong, for Jason, i really loved him, with all my heart. But then, he had to move to australia with his parents, after he was gone the bullying didn't stop it got even worse, on a friday in september last year Mitch and a friend of his waited for me after school, i tried to ignore them and just pass them but they wouldn't let me, his friend, i remember he was called Dave punched me in the jaw and then and there i freaked out, i lost control i stared punching back, i never did that before so they were as shocked as i was, after the fourth punch he fell to the ground and hit his head badly on a stone, when i saw the blood starting to come out of the back of his head i ran. Before this day i never touched anyone, i never wanted to hurt someone i swear.  The next day i didn't went to school, i was feeling so bad for what i did, my parents were at worked when the doorbell rang, there stood Mitch, my eyes were widened in shock when he started shouting at me, he was screaming so loud the whole neighborhood must have heard it. He blamed me to be a murderer and i didn't know what he was talking about, but then he made it pretty clear, Dave died, he hit his head so bad on this stone that he died. I killed someone Liam, i'm a killer... Later i found out that Mitch and Dave were dating, he bullied me because i was gay and he dated a boy too. If he wouldn't have bullied me Dave would be alive. but i can't blame him, Dave died because i punched him and he fell. It's all my fault. Nobody found out it was me, Mitch dissapeared. It was more than a year ago and 4 months ago i recieved this letter, he's back, but nothing has happened yet.' I looked at Liam he was crying, tears were streaming down his cheeks endlessly and he looked so sorry. When he wiped away tears from my cheek i realized i was crying too. I pulled him close an breathed in his comforting scent. He pulled back and tried to comfort me ' Zayn, this is terrible, but you didn't plan to kill him, it was an accident.. you shouldn't have punched him, but they shouldn't have bullied you, why didn't you just tell someone you got bullied? But it is in the past now, this will never happen to you again i promise, i will always protect you! And you have Jamie you guys are happy aren't you?' again he gave me a weak smile. I looked down. 'Zayn? Is something wrong between you and her?' he asked a little bit shocked. 'I don't know Liam.. I love her, she's perfect, she's cute, caring and she's just a great person, but everytime we kiss it's like something is missing.. it doesn't feel like i felt with Jason' i whispered the last part and thought he didn't hear it but then he did something i wouldn't have seen coming. He pressed his lips on mine, and dear, it was like nuclear bombs were exploding in my stomach, goosebumps appearing everywhere. At first i was too shocked to kiss him back but then my lips started slowly to move against hist. This kiss was so sweet, so loving and so deep but it was wrong..

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sorry if it's crappy..
please let me know what you think about:o!! i really really really need some reviews!
love you aaaalll <333333