Breathe

return.

The ride home from the hospital was the most comfortable Clay had been in a really long time. He felt at ease with himself for the first time since god knows how long. Nick and George spent the entire ride home telling him all about how the Minecraft YouTuber community came together to support Clay by sending care packages, donating money earned from Twitch streams, and helping cover up Clay's absence by making up stories and excuses as to why he was never on stream. 

When they turned into the neighborhood, Clay wondered what the house looked like. Was it decked out in the Christmas decorations they had bought at IKEA ? Did they go for a more minimalist look, with white lights and simple decorations, or had they gone completely all out, with lawn decorations, multi-colored lights, and a tree that was taller than Clay ? His question would be answered soon, as they pulled into the driveway of the house.

Stepping out onto the snow-covered driveway, Clay saw no Christmas decorations on the front lawn. That's alright, he thought, it's all inside. Oh, it's going to look so cool.

He went around to the back of the car to unload his belongings, hearing the snow crunch beneath his feet and feeling the biting cold nip at his cheeks. He was so glad to be home. There was no place he would rather be.

Nick unlocked the door and Clay hurried inside, eager to see what they had done to the place. But when he stepped in, his face fell.

They had done nothing. There were no lights strung on the walls, there wasn't a tree, there wasn't even any music playing softly from the music box Nick had brought from home. It was exactly the same as he'd left it, except the fall decorations had been put away. The house was back to its desolate state, and Clay instantly felt immense regret.

Seeing the hurt on Clay's face, George turned and put his hands on his friend's shoulders. "What's wrong, Clay ?" he asked, concerned.

Clay shook his head. "Y-you guys didn't decorate for Christmas. I hurt you guys way more than I thought. I'm so-" His words were cut off by a sob. Placing his head in his hands, Clay began to cry, and to his surprise, George laughed.

"I mean, yeah, this past month has not been easy, but you think we didn't decorate because of that ?"

Clay looked up. What could George possibly mean they didn't leave the house empty because of his stay at the hospital ? That was the only logical reason Clay could find that explained it.

"Clay, we didn't decorate because we knew you wanted to do it with us."

He was undone. Clay found himself shaking harder than he thought possible, his body racked with sobs that were laced with gratitude. He did not deserve the friends he had, not by any means. They were too good to him. Of course he wanted to decorate for Christmas. He hadn't done it for years, and now that he lived with his two best friends, it was more symbolic of his growth. He wanted nothing more than to dance to Christmas music while hanging ornaments on the tree with Nick and George at 2 in the morning. 

George wrapped him in a hug, with Nick coming in from behind and completing the circle. The three sank onto the floor in the entryway. They were so lucky to have Clay. They were so lucky that the Tylenol didn't take his brain. They were so lucky God didn't take him home. They were so lucky...

Sniffling, George straightened his back. "Well, what are we waiting for ?" he laughed. "Let's get decorating !"

The three stood up and immediately turned on shitty Christmas music on the speakers. Nick pulled the boxes of decorations out of storage and the brothers got to work. Clay hung the lights around the house, since he was the tallest, while Nick put the tree together and George formed sugar cookie dough into balls and put them in the oven. Soon, the sweet smell of melting butter and caramelizing sugar wafted through the house while they decorated. It took hours, and by the end of it, Clay was exhausted, his legs shaking under the weight of his body. He hobbled over to the couch and collapsed.