Ultimatum

Twenty

Nathan

Staring into her eyes I need to know that's what she wants too. I've tried over and over again throughout today and tonight to show her what she means to me. I can't find the right words to tell her, I can word it a million ways but the one way that I need to. Those three words will not come out no matter what I can't. She finally breaks the silence "Nathan I am not going to ask you to ruin your friendship for me. You keep saying everyone.. Who else needs to know besides Alex?" Fuck! This is not the conversation I wanted to have tonight. She places her hands on my face "Just tell me. Whatever it is." I let out a long sigh and say the words that I know will end this perfect day. "Kat, before we came to each other. I was seeing someone else but not in a way that I wanted to be with her but to fill a void." Her eyes grow wide she already knows just by those words. "Wait please tell me that you aren't trying to tell me that you and Sarah were together?" I stop her "It was before you reached out to me. But yeah in a sense we weren't actually together but we had been seeing each other. There was nothing between us. Nothing like what we have." She is never going to speak to me again "How long Nathan? How long had y'all been whatever the hell you were? She's my best friend and I knew she was seeing someone she wouldn't tell me who." I'm trying to find the right words she's moving away from me. Getting out of the bed putting on her clothes. She's leaving damn it. She pulls her shoes on and grabs her purse she's opening the door before I can get my damn pants on. I go out behind her she's out the back door. I run out behind her grabbing her waist from behind. "Kathryn, please just hear me out. I didn't know there would be us. I didn't know I would .. that I would." She pulls away from me opening her car door she says "Look just stop! Stop it! I'm done, it's done. Do not talk to me ever again, I won't tell anyone just act like you don't even know me okay?" Her eyes brimming with tears I say nothing she continues "I will not come around anymore. I'm such a damn fool!" Slamming her door, she's backing out and all that's left is the glow of her tail lights and my heart torn to shreds by my own doing. What was I thinking not telling her before? I get back inside and try to call her over and over it's only 10 pm. She's been gone for forty-five minutes. Where did she go, what the hell should I do?

I get dressed I'm going to her damn house it can't end like this. Throwing on my jacket and shoes I'm in the truck still trying to call her. I finally get to her driveway and pull up her car is there and so is Chris's truck. Damn it this is going to suck. I pull up and shut the truck off. I'm going to talk to her regardless of who is here. I'll fight my way through Chris if I have to. I knock on the door and Brandon answers. Fucking great! "What the hell do you want Nathan? Don't you think you have done enough? If she wanted to talk to you she would have answered the phone." He says through the door holding her phone in his hand. I want to hit him in his smug ass face but for some reason, these two guys are always in her corner. I only say "Where is she? I don't give a shit what you think." Chris comes to the door behind him "Seriously man? You just can't take damn a hint? Did you really think she would stick around after you screwed her best friend?" I look at him and say "I didn't sleep with Sarah, Chris! I didn't know that any of this would happen with Kathryn! Just let me talk to her." Brandon interrupts "You know what this is bullshit she doesn't have to wait around while you keep screwing up! Why didn't you tell her the truth sooner? Man hell she doesn't deserve that." Chris chimes in "No she doesn't! She might not tell you but I am! She's not made of damn stone like all you jackasses think. She's not gonna put up with this bullshit over and over. That's not her. You should know by now that she doesn't give a shit about anything but she does about you!" I start to tell them the truth when her voice comes out softly stopping me. Her hair wet she must have been showering. "Damn y'all I don't need anyone to speak for me. I can fight my own battles." They back off and go inside the house she opens the door to me. I go to step inside and she puts her hand on my chest. "Nathan do not step into this house if you have any more bullshit hidden from me." I say "I don't!" She moves aside and lets me in they both star at me pissed off! She says "Okay guys I can handle it from here! I'll call y'all tomorrow!" They get up to leave as she tells them bye and shuts the door finally turns to me I'm leaning against her counter. "Why did you come here?" She says I don't even have to think about a response. "Because I wasn't done talking to you and trying my damnest to explain to you what happened. Will you please hear me out?" She takes a deep breath and sits down on the couch and replies "You have an hour.. You better make it count."

I move and sit beside her. She crosses her hands against her chest I can smell her familiar sweet honey scent. She's wearing a big t-shirt, and apparently no pants. I look up at her ready to put it all on the line "I didn't tell you because it didn't matter to me. She didn't matter to me just like no one else did. You came into my atmosphere and anything with anyone else was over. From that first night until now. It's only been you." She sits and waits for me to continue so I do. "I honestly didn't see you coming. I didn't predict this would happen. I thought my want for you was only physical but it's not. I know without a doubt you feel it too. Or I wouldn't be sitting here right now. But they are right I don't deserve you. That doesn't mean I'm not gonna try." I look down at my hands I can't take the pressure from her eyes any longer. She reaches out hesitant at first and touches my hands "Nathan. This is bad for both of us. But that doesn't mean that I don't want you. Because I do. I've always been craving something more, something I can feel. And I feel this connection it constantly draws me to you even though I don't want it to. I don't know what the right thing is here. But I will tell Sarah about this the next chance I get. I don't think she will react as bad to me if I tell her the truth." I look up at her. " Are you sure that you want to do that?" her fingers rise to my lips stopping my words I forget what we are even talking about.

Her finger trace over my lips to my jawline, I close my eyes just feeling her touch. This woman will ruin me but I have to have her. I pull her by her waist into me my nose nuzzling into her hair by her ear I whisper "Kathryn you can't touch me like that and expect me not to want you. Not to want my hands touching you. There are things that I want with you that I want with no one else." I say has my hand travels down to the hem of the t-shirt, sliding up her thigh to her waist I just want to feel her skin against mine. "Nathan we cant always fall back into bed when we make up. But I would like it if you would stay tonight!" I look up into her eyes and she's serious she doesn't want me to leaves " okay whatever you want! I'll move my truck around back. Unlock the back door." I go out and move my truck coming back into the house she's laying in the bed the TV is on. I take off my shirt and my pants and climb in beside her. Her comforter is white and fluffy with grey sheets they have a ruffle at the top of them. I love that she is so unapologetically her. I lift my arm and she snuggles up under it. Her head laying against my bare chest they rest of her body tangled up with me. I will never get tired of being here with her. I kiss her on the top of her head. She lifts her head up looking at me "How do you do this to me? I'm usually only worried about myself and what I want. But with you, it's not that way. It's different." I smile cause I know what she means. I give her a shrug she doesn't push it she's like me in so many ways. Just like me from our mannerisms to our taste in music there are too many similarities and I can't lose her. Ever.