𝐓𝐈𝐌𝐎𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐄
i toss and turn in my king-sized bed as beads of sweat forms underneath my tee shirt. i roll over and swipe my curly hair out of my eyes, my blurry vision clearing to read the bright blue numbers on my alarm clock.
the numbers 3:51 taunt me and i roll my eyes, finally giving up on sleeping tonight. after rolling around for three hours you would think i could finally shut-eye, considering i've had back to back meetings all week, but no.
but deep down i know exactly why my brain can't stop the continuous loop of memories. because this weekend marks 3 years.
i slowly shuffle into the kitchen, wishing I put on socks as the cold hard wood floor shocks my bare feet, immediately replacing my sweat with shivers. i put in my favorite type of nespresso into the machine, hit start, and walk back to my room to unplug my phone from it's charger.
i grab my finished coffee after adding some milk and take a seat on the couch, covering my legs with a blanket, opening my phone as i switch on a softly lit lamp.
i scroll until i find my sister's contact and immediately click it, not remembering how late in the night it is.
"hello?" a groggy voice comes through the phone, "timothee why are you even up, it's like almost 4 am."
"i'm so sorry i didn't want to wake you but you're the only person i could think of to call about this." i sigh louder than i meant it, and suddenly pauline has changed the call to face time rather than an audio call. when i accept, her face pops up, covered with concern.
"it's because this weekend is THE weekend, isn't it?"
"if by THE weekend you mean the last time i saw the love of my life and treated her worse than i've ever treated anyone before? and we haven't spoken since? yeah, that's the one."
her eyes search my expression as my head hangs low.
"timothée know this week was hard for you with work and the stress of this. i am so sorry"
"you mean these past three years have been hard? i haven't been okay since the last time i saw her," i meet her gaze with a glare, "and according to you, she hasn't either. pauline i can't stop thinking about what you said last month after you got lunch with her. she's absolutely not the same person and it's all because of me and i know it. i follow her instagram she's had the same friends since she started studying at NYU. it was all me."
"tim, i'm going to be serious with you for a second, because we're both adults now, and i love you. how did you expect her to be? you thought she was going to be okay? you guys have been inseperable pretty much since birth. i don't know if i would be over it now either. you were her only other lifeline other than her mom, and then her mom died and you left the night of. how is that supposed to make her feel?"
"way to lay it on me easy pauline." i roll my eyes.
she huffs at me and i look at her again. "timothée i am so sick and tired of sugar-coating it. you were so immature and hardheaded in that situation and i'm tired of avoiding being harsh. i've seen her more recently than you, mom, or dad. she's completely broken."
"god i miss her. i was such an idiot."
"well, what are you going to do about it?"
"what am i supposed to do? i blocked her on everything years ago so she couldn't reach me, and i'm using my old middle school instagram that i found the login to check up on her. i'm absolutely pathetic."
she stifles a laugh and i glare at her.
her lips turn into a line as she gets serious again, "listen, tim, i know things are hard right now but i know for a fact she's still in love with you. she wouldn't still be so distraught three years later if she wasn't."
"that makes it even worse that i've made her wait this long. and just because she loves me doesn't mean everything will fall into place. she probably hates me. because i hate me too, trust me."
"first of all, you were eighteen, and teenagers are stupid. second, she doesn't hate you timothee. shes just... fragile. she might say she hates you but deep down she loves you."
"pauline i can't do this life without her. if she rejects me, i don't know what i'll do."
"you can't come on too strong tho, tim, because then she really will be mad at you. just friends first. you've waited this long."
"yeah i guess."
"now go to bed. you need your rest."
"maybe later. i might just be up for the night"
"okay. goodnight. call me tomorrow please."
"of course i will. i love you."
"i love you too."
the facetime call ends and i stare back at my background, getting lost in my thoughts and my screen eventually goes dark. then i am met with my reflection, and wow do i look rough.
i grab my laptop from my coffee table, knowing only one thing will cheer me up.
i sip my coffee as i pull up a folder labeled "SUMMER TRIP 2017"
a smile immediately covers my face as aurora's face lights up the screen, but i feel a tug at my heartstrings.
"HEY GUYS!" her squeal electrifies the room, and i hear myself laugh in the background.
i take in her appearance and it's like a breath of fresh air. her dark hair has loose waves and she has on my favorite sweatshirt, no makeup on her face. my favorite look on her. i lose my breath for a minute. she is breath taking.
"well, actually, hi to my camera roll because no one is aware that i am dating THE timothée chalamet... and he's too much of a hotshot celebrity to tell anyone about me." she winks at the camera.
"baby, that's not true, you know i just don't want the tabloids to try and split us apart like they do to every other couple." i come into frame and hug her from behind, nuzzling my head in her neck.
she rubs my curls with her fingers and giggles. "i know i was just messing around. when are you planning to talk about me though?" she asks, pushing, wiggling her eyebrows at me.
i laugh, searching her face with my eyes. "i don't know babe, i want you all to myself for as long as it's possible."
my heart drops. not even a month later i had a completely different attitude.
this video is the only thing that puts me to sleep at night nowadays. i pretty much know every video we made by heart. her voice is the only thing that calms me down. it always has.
tonight, just like all the other nights when i'm watching our home videos because of my insomnia, i fall asleep with a smile on my face.
✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 𝑩'𝑺 𝑵𝑶𝑻𝑬 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧
HI GUYS. so now it's getting to the juicy parts;)
YES, i added his sister pauline, YES, i my have the timeline off from actual events, im not actually sure when he started his serious fame, but its my book so i make up the timeline LOL.
also yes, i forgot to mention. aurora, blakely, and channing are all youtube famous, as well as the boys. that's how they met the boys! yes, balkely is a singer but she got on youtube to post covers, but i will talkmore about that in the future, lol.
hope y'all are enjoying so far:)
also WHO HAS SEEN THE DUNE TRAILER. HOLY MOLY. HE IS SMOKING HOT. WOW.
✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:**:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧
YOU ARE READING
𝐔𝐍𝐃𝐄𝐑𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐍𝐃; t.chalamet
Fanfiction"don't you get it timothée? you're never going to understand what i went through all because of you." [social media x real life] timothée chalamet fanfic
