The Beginning and the Inevitable End

An Apology

-Slam Poem-

I'm sorry
I'm sorry I didn't have the courage sooner.
I let you abuse me.
Like a wave crashing upon itself
Again and again
don't worry, it's not your fault
I just didn't know any better

Your love was abuse dressed in disguise.
Reaching and grabbing me
With hands that i wanted to hold me
I wanted to be wrapped in the embrace of...
A lie.

I'm sorry that you couldn't change
That you relied so heavily on
The poison you carried
That you seeped into our lives
He didn't have the courage to say no.
So when I finally forced the hands away from me
I thought he would too.
He didn't.

I'm sorry that when I left
You did nothing to console
Was it relief or regret?
He lost a daughter,
What did you lose?

I'm sorry that it wasn't important enough
That I wasn't important enough
Drinking the poison was masked as a choice.
A choice, you said.
As you forced it down my throat.

I'm sorry that you cant see me now.
How I am still stuck.
Stuck in the honey coated lies.
Those lies that controlled
Every goddamn movement i made
Restricted me

My mind is a broken cassette
Playing the same track.
Over and over.
The next time you try
You will not succeed.
I have learned to pause
And Stop.

I'm sorry.
I'm sorry you refuse to be, too.