Alive || Muke

Douze

|| I ALWAYS THNIK OF YOU BEFORE I FALL ASLEEP. THE WORDS YOU SAID, THE WAY YOU LOOKED. THE THINGS WE LAUGHED ABOUT, THE SILENT MOMENTS WE SHARED. AND WHEN I DREAM, I’LL DREAM OF YOU. BECAUSE IT’S ABOUT YOU. IT’S ALWAYS ABOUT YOU ||

“michael,” i said. “i have to go out now, i’ll be home in a few hours.” 

“are you going out to see her?” he asked. he looked a bit sad, and that’s how he’s been looking for a while. i knew i was what was making him sad because every time i went out with her and came home, he wouldn’t actually touch me, or cuddle me, or anything. he would kind of just stay there, laying. some nights he’d acknowledge my existence, other nights we barely get a good conversation going. though no matter how much he ignored me, and no matter how sad he looked, to be, he will always be the most beautiful person alive. 

“yeah,” i say, sadly. i didn’t want to go see her, i never did want to, but i do to keep my mother happy and to keep her away. she was still as bad as i thought she was the first day i met her, and worse.  

“do you even love me?” he asked in a very quiet tone. i gasped, not expecting that question at all. his face was facing the ground, he was fiddling with the sleeve of his shirt. he looked so shy and so small. 

“of course i do, why would you think i don’t?” i replied.

“you’re just always with her, it always gets me wondering if you prefer her to me.”

i took a step forward so i was right in front of him. i caressed his face and shook my head. “i could never prefer anyone to you,” i reply with all honestly. 

“cancel just this once, please,” he pleaded. 

“i can’t, michael.”

he scoffed and stepped away from me. “you can’t what, luke? you can’t spend a day alone with the person you are meant to be in love with? you can’t spend a day alone with the guy you actually do like?” he raised his voice. 

“you don’t understand,” i try to say as calmly as i can. 

“i don’t understand what, luke? i’m not a sculpture anymore, she can’t threaten to break me anymore!” 

“it’s not about breaking you, michael! it’s if she found out about you, she’ll manage to get you gone quicker than i could snap! i’m doing this for you. being with her is killing me. do you think i enjoy being in her, her scent, her touch? do you think i enjoy her lips against mine? because i don’t, but i do this to make sure no one finds out about you.” 

he didn’t reply. the room was quiet and the tension was thick. i walked towards door. he clearly needed some time alone, some time to think and i wanted to give him that. i didn’t mind much that he was accusing me, but i didn’t like it. i wanted him to trust and believe me when i said it was only him that i did care about, but i did understand where he was coming from. it must hurt seeing the person you love go off with another person. i wouldn't know what it feels like but i did know that it hurt when michael was just a sculpture.

"stay," he whispered. and that was all it took for me to stop opening the door. "i'm sor--"

"no, you had the right." i say, cutting him off. i didn't want him apologizing for that. it was nothing too big, it was a fight, something normal. i walked towards the taller boy, and captured his lips with mine. he moved his lips against mine almost instantly. his lips were a bit chapped, but it was still perfect because it was with him and that was all that ever mattered. my arms were wrapped around his neck and his were snaked around my waist, moving me closer to him if it was possible.

our kiss got heated pretty quickly because before i knew it both of our clothes were off and we were both laying in bed, naked. the entire night i felt like i was on cloud nine and everything around me was just a blur. i wanted to stay like this forever because i hadn't been this happy in so long. i could remember his sweet he was to me, how he held me tender. i remembered him kissing me, showing me how much he loved me. i also remember my first thought when i saw how large he was and accidentally blurting out "i didn't realise your penis would come out that big." he laughed, i blushed. the night was so perfect.

- - - 

I was going to write smut at first but I liked the idea of keeping this book kinda clean. If you do want smut though, I'm part of a collab smut book at @thelames check us out, we're not that lame tbh (except for sam, she sucks)