Alive || Muke

Six

|| IN THE SEASON OF SNOW, IN THE IMMEASURABLE COLD, WE GROW CRUEL BUT HONEST; WE KEEP OURSELVES ALIVE, IF WE CAN, TAKING ONE AFTER ANOTHER THE NECESSARY BODIES OF OTHERS, THE M A N Y CRUSHED RED FLOWERS. ||

"how was your date, son?" hera asked with a massive smile on her face. i turned to her and looked at her with disgust. i could not believe her, and her twisted thoughts. she thought it was funny and great to watch me suffer. she thought she was going to win this.

to say i hated her at the moment would have been an understatement. i detested her, i loathe her existance, even though without her i would not be alive, but it was better for me to not be alive than to have to deal with this, deal with a pitiful little girl i could careless about. if i can't manage to get her to hate me and end it all with me soon, she will think that i truly did care for her and despite the fact i disrelish her existance a well, i did feel a small ounce of pity towards her because she thinks that the nothing we have is real. 

"why?" was all i asked. i wanted to know why she would do this to me, her only son, why would she put me in so much pain. i did understand i was not exactly the best child there was out there, and i did understand that i was not what she had wanted me to be, what her expectations of me were going to be, although i did not see why she was making me suffer.

i had done nothing but try to be the perfect son she always wanted but even then i could not do it the way she wanted me to. i had given up my previous life for this, for her and zeus. i no longer had the friends i grew up with as a child and the small imprefect family i grew up with, but no matter how imprefect they were, i would not trade them for anyone else in the world. it actually felt like a family with them, i actually felt loved, a feeling i hadn't felt in so long with hera and zeus because they were always so busy.

"simply because i do not want you alone for the rest of your life, child. i am doing you a favour and when you fall in love with the girl, and take her hand for marriage, you will realise what i did was the correct thing to do. you cannot simply wait for the rest of your life and fall in love with a stupid sculpture! the thing is importal, it cannot fall in love with you, it cannot live a life you," she rambles and oh how wrong she was. she was not doing me a favour, the last thing she is currently doing at the moment is doing me a favour. she is taking away my freedom, my right to love, basically one of the keys to my happiness. i do understand i was single before she had forced the girl upon me, although i was happy. i did not have to deal with a bratty priss, and nor did i have to bother with someone who i can't even remember's name.

"you do realise she is nothing more than a slut and i will never fall in love with her kind, correct? i do not see why you even bother. i will never fall in love with her, i will never ask her to marry me, i will never spend the rest of my life with her and i sure as hell will never be thankful for this in the future. this is rubbish! what you are doing is only making me hate her more and dislike you a lot more as well. if you had stayed in the bet michael would have turned mortal and i could have been happy with him," i reply.

i didn't give hera time to reply before i walked away and went to my room. it was the only place i felt safe, it was the only place where i could be myself, it was the only place i could see the guy i felt feelings i should not feel for. i opened the door of my room, shutting it close after i walk in, making it bang hard. my head was spinning and i felt so sick. i may have been heartless, but i knew this was wrong and not just for me but for the girl.

it was one thing to make me date a little girl, but under no circumstance would i marry her. that would ruin my entire life because i will not only be forced to like the girl, but i would be forced upon loving her and that was the last thing i did want at the moment. the past couple of days, nothing has gone right. i was forced to date a female, the only person my heart skipped a beat for is and will always be importal and there is a possibility of marriage in this state. i hate it. i hated her. i hated my mother. it all felt so, so, so wrong. 

i felt anger, i felt sadness, i felt numb. everything i did not want to feel i felt. i wanted to scream and i wanted to cry. i just wanted to shower, scrub off the feeling of her touch on my skin. i wanted to do something about her lips, that were softer than i thought they would be, against mine. though her lips were soft, her movements were fast. she kissed my rougher than i expected.

it felt like a fairytale movie where the princess is banned from doing whatever she wishes to do, although in a fairytale there is a happily ever after whereas with me, there is no happily ever after unless my 'prince' comes to life.

- - - 

sorry for the long wait. this book should have just about 15 chapters, give or take! :-)