Ishimaru oneshots that tickle my serotonin! ~

💖shhh~💖 Ishimaru x reader *OLD*

Trigger warnings!
Low self esteem!

-LAST UPDATED SEPTEMBER 12TH 2020-

1.k! I get it that there's not a lot of X readers out there. But there's GOTTA be something better then an ALMOST 16 year olds fan fics. Well, In all seriousness, thank you all so much! Also, since I got the question in dms. I go by all pronouns. He/she/them. Pronouns are a social construct, fuck them. So, you legit can't misgender me. With that out of the way, onto the story!

-story start-

I don't know why, but I can't stand my own reflection. It's nothing but the shame I feel about myself. My stretch marks, my thighs, my stomach, I hate everything. I hate mirrors, they're one of my only reminders of this. I hate photos, everyone else always looks so pretty. I hate everything.

You didn't know why the mirror captivated you. You hated it. it was like a toxic friend. It never treated you nice, but you kept coming back. Hoping one day, it would treat you with the same dignity. It never did, it told you how horrid you looked. How you could never look as good as other girls.
You knew deep down inside, that wasn't true. how you could see your ribs when you got dressed in the morning. How your wrist could be met with your thumb and pointer finger.
You knew that you had love for yourself somewhere deep inside yourself. But you had absolutely no tools to dig it out.
You hadn't even noticed that you had started crying in your sour symphony of self hatred. You curled your hands into fist, and slammed them on your counter. You looked down for a few minutes, before looking back up.
Only to see your reflection, as if it was laughing at you. As if it was a childhood friend, who ditched you. As if a parent, who had done nothing for you. Then turned around and asked for your love. You took one of your clenched fist, raised it into the air, and in an instant shattered the glass.
Shards of the mirror flew every where. With shards and little pieces being stuck in your hand. You in an instant, knew the mistake you had made. When you noticed little shards had also been pressed into your outer wrist too.
You froze when you heard the door to the bathroom click open in a panic. You looked over to see your roommate, Ishimaru.

"L/N, I heard glass shattering! Is everything-"

He saw your hand, with a Myriad of glass shoved into it. He paused for a second as it has begun bleeding, and you were still crying. When he had gotten a clear picture of the scene, he looked down to make sure there was no glass on the floor. When he saw that it had collected on the counter. He walked over to you and examined your wrist.

"L/N, why would you do that!"

You darted your eyes away.

"I-I don't know, I don't know what came over me. I'm sorry!"

"It's fine, let's just get you out of here."

  He gently lead you out of the bathroom, and to the living room, and sat you down. He walked away for a second, and came back with some tweezers, gauze, and bandages.
He gently grabbed your arm, and started to remove the shards of glass. You slightly hissed is pain occasionally, but decided that it was your own fault anyway. He removed the last few pieces, covered some of worst bleeders with gauze, then wrapped them up with the bandage.

"T-T-Thanks."

You were still crying from a strange mixture of self hatred and pain. You looked down at your bandaged arm, thinking about how stupid you were. Yeah, you hated yourself- but injuring yourself will just cause people to know.