Agent 024

YOU WON'T CATCH ME

"Tisha, I swear I'll send a legal notice to you.", Irrfan said, and I walked after him.

"Oh common. How wrong can I be? It is aami teko ma, isn't it?", I pleaded.

He shook his head and Aradhya laughed.

We sat in our usual spot under the tree as Aradhya and Aviral discussed the answers and cross checked their books and notes. 

"What the hell?", Roger said as he finally lost his wits and rolled over laughing.

"Hey, I'm trying okay? There's that song no, and Vidya Balan goes ami teko ma.", I said, looking around for help.

"Tisha, if you ruin Bengali for me, I swear to God-", Irrfan began.

"Bro, she'll speak Bengali, then she'll ruin it no. I don't know what language she is even trying to speak. I don't think any country will owe up to the gibberish you're speaking.", Roger said and Irrfan high-fived him.

"Oh god guys, help out no.", I said as I sat back against the tree.

"We're majoring in Kannada and Gujarati this semester. Just know the basics of Bengali for backup. Why would you need to dance to whatever song it is for an art of deception test?", Irrfan said.

"Common, shouldn't you be spreading your culture especially when someone is making an effort to learn it?", I said, crossing my arms.

"Yeah, I'm making an effort to protect it from you. I think my community will award me for that.", Irrfan chuckled.

"Oh, I googled it. I'm pretty sure if google could curse, it would type back some pretty colorful curse words. The song is ami je tomar which means-", Roger said.

"I am yours.", Irrfan said, interrupting Roger as he looked at me.

Roger began again in a tune this time - "Shudhu je tomar"

"I am only yours.", Irrfan said, giving me a smile.

I gave him a confused expression. Was this a group joke that I wasn't getting?

"See, just sing that in your beautiful voice and guy or girl - they'll just run away from you in the test. See, problem solved?", Irrfan said as he broke into a laugh.

"Oh, yours just began.", I said, getting up.

Ever since I had started singing in the garden and the frogs had stopped croaking at that very instant it had become a common joke that my singing could even silence the frogs.

"You won't catch me, Tisha.", Irrfan said as he slowly backed up from me.

"Oh, you'll be dead before you know it.", I said as I ran towards him.

"Shit.", he said, as he got up hurriedly and started running away.

"Don't let her catch you, Irrfan!", Roger yelled.

"Give him hell, Tisha.", Aviral cheered even when he had no idea what was going on.

I caught up to him as he went behind a tree and peered from behind it.

"Really?", I said, tilting my head.

"You're the one playing catch and run.", he shrugged.

"Just wait", I said, as I ran to him and he ran away.

I almost caught him. At that moment, he suddenly stopped and turned and I stumbled into him. He fell to the ground and I fell on top of him.

I lifted my head from his chest and looked up at him.

"Gosh, are you okay?", I asked.

His hands encircled my waist as I looked at him with concern.

"You're on top of me, not in the exact context I had hoped.", he said in response to my question.

I realized how close we were. So close I could almost hear his heartbeat. His cologne enveloped me and I found his eyes to be the same dangerous tempting waters I had always wanted to enter.

He lifted a strand of my hair and tucked it behind my ears even as I remained lost in his eyes.

"Fuck Tisha, you're so beautiful, it pierces me just to hold you close.", he said.

I raised my eyebrow at him.

"You've read my poetry.", I said not as a question but as an assertion.

"The closest I've ever been to you is in your verses.", he said, his eyes warming up, no longer the troubled tempests but an ocean that sang lullabies and called me close.

I traced my fingers around his eyes. The oceans promised home, soothed me but how could I forget the next line of the verse - the same ocean has tempests brewing underneath, of such intensity that could drown us both.

I cleared my throat as I tore my eyes away from his. I attempted to get up and Irrfan loosed his hold around me. I rolled off him and he sat up.

"You'll be my death, Tisha. Being near you and not be able to love you is as much torture as being away from you.", he chuckled dryly.

"You will be my end, Irrfan. What were you thinking reciting my poetry to me? Poets are not meant to be understood remember? That'll be the end of us.", I chuckled.

"You like him, don't you?", he asked.

I looked at him. It wasn't so much as a question as a claim he was afraid to get approved but one he wanted verified nevertheless.  The agony of being in the grey hurts more than being rejected. I for one would know.

"As much as I hate it and as much Abhay and I have decided not to be together, a part of me still has feelings for him. And another part feels for you, Irrfan. I don't know whether it's right or wrong but I like you both and unless I can reciprocate your feelings and like you back as honestly and passionately as you do, I can't play around with you. I can't be half-way in with you, Irrfan. With you, it's either all in or all out. You don't live in the grey, that would drive you crazy.", I said.

"Have me all figured out, don't you?", he asked.

"Well, you had my poetry, all I need is your eyes. You're not as much of a mysterious secret keeper as you claim to be.", I smiled.

"You for one can have all my secrets, Tisha.", he said getting up and offering me his hand.

I looked at him as I weighed the burden of the words he had just uttered. An agent could disclose his secrets only to his partner. no one else not even him immediate family could have a whiff of what's going on. The Academy had decided that agents needed to have a personal life outside of their professional one and to keep it alive, their partners needed to become their confidantes. It had improved the mental and psychological health of the on field agents by magnitudes and the Academy had decided to implement this rule on a permanent basis.

Seeing my shocked expression, he knelt down in front of me and said, "Since you're going to be a part of my team on field missions, at least some of them, I guess."

I nodded and got up.