banished

too late

"Banished?"

Her voice sounded hollow even to her own ears, echoing quietly in Zuko's emptied - desolate, abandoned - bedroom. Her mouth had gone completely dry. Mai didn't - no, she couldn't believe what she'd heard. It wasn't true. A lie. It had to be -

"Banished," Azula repeated coolly, examining her newly-painted fingernails. "Not only did he speak out of turn, but he then refused to fight for his honor! As expected, Father decided he must rightfully suffer the consequences." She laughed wickedly. Mai could feel her own knives being dragged through her stomach at the sound, and she had to bite back bile rising in her throat. "You won't believe this, Mai. Father sent him off on an impossible mission to find the Avatar. Uncle's gone with him." Azula's upper lip curled in disgust. "A far more merciful task than he deserves, if you ask me. But sad as it is to say" - she shrugged calmly, without a hint of grief in her eyes - "I don't think poor Zuzu will ever return."

Mai inhaled sharply, her heart seizing in her chest as her grip on the stone - the gift, the love - in her left hand tightened to the point where the sharp edges dug into her skin. "You're lying."

Banished.

"Oh, Mai." Azula took a step towards her, reaching out with her index finger to trace a solitary tear as it fell down Mai's face, following its path with a sharp, scarlet nail. "What could I possibly have to gain from lying to you? Here? Now?"

Mai jerked away from her touch, ignoring how Azula's nail dug across the skin atop her cheekbone. There was a long pause before she managed to find her voice. "Will that be all, Princess Azula?" Her tone was low, her eyes trained on the floor.

"Hm... Yes, I suppose it is." Azula adjusted the crimson, flame-shaped headpiece tucked in her hair. "I just figured you'd want to know why Zuko won't be... available anymore." Her gaze drifted down to Mai's hand, still tightly gripping the stone. "A pity you weren't able to give him that in time, isn't it? You were only a day too late."

A day.

Banished.

Mai nodded stiffly in response, a quiet, "Thank you for informing me," barely escaping her lips before her voice disappeared once more. The emptiness of her tone made her sick to her stomach.

Azula laughed. "My, my. Gratitude is a pretty look on you, Mai." She twisted one of the ribbons in Mai's hair around her fingers twice before pulling away. "I'll have to remember that." She then took a step back, offering Mai a smile. A smile that didn't reach her golden eyes. "But I'm sure this is... a lot for you to process right now. So I'll give you some space. Let you..." She chuckled. "Well, say your goodbyes. To what's left of him, at least." With that, Azula left Zuko's bedroom, the door quietly clicking shut behind her.

Mai didn't move at first, her friend's - friends didn't treat each other like that - words keeping her frozen in place. It wasn't until she felt a warm wetness in her left hand that she realized she'd been clutching the heart-shaped rock so tightly the edges had cut into her palm.

Mai's first motion was to drop the stone. Her second was barely managing to grab the post of Zuko's bed as her knees buckled beneath her and she collapsed, only just able to stop herself from falling all the way to the floor.

Banished.

Through the tears clouding her vision, Mai could see that the heart-shaped stone - her heart - was now coated with crimson. Blood. Her own blood. The plan had been to paint it following Ty Lee's advice, a foolish - "No, Mai, it's sweet!" - gesture of giving her heart to Zuko.

It seemed the paint job had been done for her. Smeared. Incomplete. But red. Bleeding red.

Banished.

A sob escaped her lips, and Mai bit her tongue so hard she tasted metal. She would not cry. She would not show weakness, or vulnerability. She would be silent. Still. Invisible. Perfect.

Perfect. That was all she ever needed to be, wasn't it?

Mai slowly released the bedpost to stare down at the palms of her hands. The stark contrast of crimson blood against her pale skin was as fascinating as it was nauseating, and for a long time, she found herself unable to look away.

Banished.

Mai forced her gaze upwards, eyes widening in horror as she came face-to-face with her own reflection. Bloodied palms, a dripping scratch that darted across her left cheek, red-rimmed and fearful eyes, maroon ribbons imbalanced and askew - disgraceful. Shameful. Humiliating. Imperfect.

Imperfect. That was all she would ever be, wasn't it?

(Too late. She'd been a day too late.)

Hands shaking, Mai weakly reached up to untie the two ribbons adoring her face, not caring about the blood trickling off her palms as she did so. She winced, jerking the ribbons out one after the other. Her hair tumbled down, falling just below her shoulders.

She levelled her gaze with that of her reflection. Empty eyes, hard eyes, unblinking eyes. Sad girl, lonely girl. Pity the girl. Zuko gone, Ty Lee gone, Azula never there. The poor rich girl all alone once again.

Banished.

A single tear trickled down her nose and into her mouth, the taste of blood and salt a vile combination.

Banished.

Her chest heaved as she battled back a second sob, hands clenching at her sides.

Banished.

"Shut up!" Mai screamed, grabbing her heart, her heart oozing crimson, Mai grabbed her bleeding heart from the floor and threw it at the mirror, shattering the smooth, perfect glass into a dozen jagged, imperfect fragments. Broken. Bloodied. Beyond repair.

Now it matched.

(She hadn't had a chance to say goodbye.)

Banished.