Ordinary People

32•

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Riddle 32: if you're running a race and you pass the person in second place, what place are you in??

I skipped some therapy chapters just to move along this book.

Xen Michaels pov...
*therapy session/ 1 month later*

"Oh so last time you were here we talked about how you were always so quick to snap and just cuss people out. I asked if you could write a journal entry telling how snapping makes you feel, may you please read it for me?"

I sighed but pulled out my journal from my back pocket. I opened it to the right page and started reading.

Entry 25:
I just snapped at someone today because they wouldn't stop talking! They were loud and being annoying and to make it worst the person was a white girl trying to act urban, which made it worst cause why the fuck is a white girl tryna act urban knowing damn well she ain't? But I tried to count to 10, 20, shit I even tried counting to 100. I even closed my eyes and thought of a happy place. I tapped my fingers and my feet, I played a game on phone, texted my brother and friends but I couldn't help but be triggered by this bit-I mean girl. I just don't understand the need to be loud, her friend was right there there was no need for that. I was told to write down how snapping at people made me feel, I can honestly say I don't feel bad at all. I feel better, I got the angry out, well some of it, and that girl was scared. Is it bad that I liked the scared look her face held? It was funny. She apologized and everything and for the rest of the time being she was quiet asf. I laughed but I had to shake my head cause before she was all tough and "bad ass" but now she's as quiet as a church mouse. Everyone wants to be black until they get called out or it's time to be black. I keep getting off topic but to sum it all up, I know I'm suppose to feel bad for snapping but I'm actually the opposite of that! I mean I feel like I have power, that I can tell people how to do things; the feeling of scaring is thrilling! It's exciting and I want to continue to do it.

"That's all I have."

I mumbled closing my book and sitting it down in the seat next to me.

"After reading that, how do you feel now?"

"Bad. At the moment it feels good but to read what I wrote I feel awful. I feel disgusted with myself. Am I a monster?"

I asked putting my head down.

"Pick your head up and no it doesn't make you a monster. At the time, you were just reacting on angry emotions but the fact that you can read something you wrote and feel bad shows that you have, how do the young people says it, heart or emotions."

I chuckled, shaking my head.

"I don't want to be like this anymore, Mrs. B, sometimes I snap at my friend, Renee, and I say hurtful things. Things I don't mean and I know I hurt her feelings but she's such a good friend she just ignores what I say most of the time but I know I hurt her feelings really bad."

"Have you ever thought to ask her how she felt about the way you treat her?"

"Nah, I never really thought I was hurting her feelings until like a week ago."

"and if you don't mind me asking what happened?"

I shrugged not really wanting to go into deal, she didn't need to know.

"I don't want you looking at me differently, so imma chill on that."

"Thats fine, I totally respect that. I just want to say im so happy with the progress we've been making."

"You can thank Elva for that one."

"Really?"

"Hell yea! she's the reason why im actually giving this shit a try to be honest. "

"Does she make you happy?"

"Hell yes. she's so easy to talk to and shit. She doesn't judge and she gives good advice when needed. I just wish she knew her worth in this world."

Mrs. B made a noise before writing something down.

"What do you even write on those?"

"We've already talked about this but I write important things, stuff I feel like I will need to go back and re-look at to help me, help you. Now come on lets get back on track. Tell me how your relationship with your brother is going."

"I mean its ok, he's never really home now. He started college now and is living his best life."

"Are you happy for him?"

"What the hell kind of question is that? of course i'm happy for him. This is what I want for him since I started taking care of him."

'Do you miss him being around?"

"Of course but I can't stop that from letting him have his fun and getting his degree and have a better life for himself and if he choices to have children, in the future, hopefully a better life for them also."

"Its good you truly are happy for your brother."

I nodded my head. I ain't really have nothing to say to that.

"Now tell me how you are feeling."

I sighed. I did not want to talk about my feelings but I had no choice, did I?

^^^
903 words...

Riddle 32 answer: second place

Do y'all see the process in Xen therapy sessions??

Chapter made: November 28,2020
Chapter published: November 30,2020
Edited published date: January 14,2021