Viral Love: A Joe and Dianne Novella

Part 2

March 20, 2020
To: Suggyyy
From: CasparLee
Subject: Redhead

Joe,

So I've been thinking, ever since we talked yesterday and I was wondering...you said your neighbor is "beautiful" right? But then you said she was wearing a mask. How do you even know she's that pretty? 

Anyway, if you're that obsessed with her, I hope you took my advice. Did you knock on her door yet?

March 20, 2020
To: CasparLee
From: Suggyyy
Subject: Re: Redhead

Casp,

I know she was beautiful because I saw her eyes. They were like...brown. Green. Gold. All mixed together. It really doesn't matter what the rest of her looked like, her eyes were magnetic. 

But the rest of her wasn't so bad either...

Also I did not knock on her door. I'm not doing that Caspar, that's creepy. 

March 20, 2020
To: Suggyyy
From: CasparLee
Subject: Re: Re: Redhead

It's really not creepy. At least not creepier than you ogling her arse as you helped her shop for kale and almond butter and whatever other weird shit you said she bought. The fact that you remembered her entire shopping list and that you were able to recite it in order to me, should probably clue you in to the fact that knocking on her door doesn't even rank on the "creep scale" in comparison to everything else you've done. 

Besides, how hard is it to knock on the door and invite her to dinner? It's not like she's going to have plans. We're locked the fuck down. 

March 20, 2020
To: DBuzz
From: OtiBaby
Subject: Progress??

Buzz,

No update?! I'm going crazy babe. You can't just tell me this hot neighbor of yours helped you with your shopping bags, said "see you around" and then go radio silent!! Does this mean you haven't seen him?! Or are you snogging him right now?! IS THAT WHY YOU AREN'T EMAILING ME BACK?

I know this email thing is nostalgic and we made a pact and blah blah, but I'm about to call your ass.

March 20, 2020
To: OtiBaby
From: DBuzz
Subject: Re: Progress??

Chill out, Otes. 

I am not "snogging my neighbor" right now. I was actually just about to try and bake a cake. Did you realize all the shit you need to bake a cake?! It's taken me all morning just to figure out the ingredients...then I had to go back to the corner shop to get the sugar I needed. I almost knocked on Joe's door but I chickened out. Plus how stereotypical would that be...excuse me, hot neighbor, do you have a spare cup of sugar?! So don't even start with me, I don't have the guts for that. 

Anyway...I have not seen Joe, or heard Joe or even thought of Joe.

No, that's a lie. I think about him and his stupid green blue eyes pretty much every freaking minute. 

UGH OTI TELL ME TO GET A GRIP.

March 20, 2020
To: DBuzz
From: OtiBaby
Subject: Re: Re: Progress??

I'll tell you what to get a grip of...Joe's bum!!

March 20, 2020
To: CasparLee
From: Suggyyy
Subject: Re: Re: Redhead