Viral Love: A Joe and Dianne Novella

Part 6

April 25, 2020
To: DBuzz
From: rina_buswell
Subject: Request from your dad

Hi Dotty,

It's Dad. I stole your mum's iPad. Let me know if you get this...I don't know how E Mail works, really.

Anyway, I just wanted to ask how you were. And also ask who that young man was in the background of our FaceTime call yesterday? He just walked in your front door like he had a key? And you ended the call quite fast.  They shouldn't be allowing anyone in the building! Do I need to call your landlord?

Call us.

Love, 

Daddy

April 25, 2020
To: OtiBaby
From: DBuzz
Subject: My dad

Oti, SOS. I need help. 

So obviously you know I've been sort of MIA (which I'm sorry about, I know you are depending on my strange life for entertainment purposes) but I have a very good reason. 

A. I'm in lockdown, so I'm really busy like, taking my temperature and stuff.

B. I talked to Joe and confessed I really liked him and he confessed he also REALLY liked me (emphasis on REALLY actually happened in real life...insert dreamy sigh) and then we kissed and did other stuff and then...we've stayed together every single night since. 

C. Just Joe. Joe is the main reason. He's really distracting.

 ANYWAY.

I will send you more details as soon as I have time, but first, I need your help with this major problem I have at the moment, which is my FATHER saw Joe in the background of a FaceTime call when I was trying to hang up and is questioning me about it. 

I know he lives across the world, but Oti, you know how my dad is...I AM SCREWED.

Help me.

April 25, 2020
To: DBuzz
From: OtiBaby
Subject: Re: My dad

Okay, first of all. Yes, you are correct. You are my main source of entertainment, and I wholeheartedly believed with you in an actual lockdown, I'd be getting tons of juicy stories. But instead, here I am, sitting for a week with absolutely not a peep from you!!

HOW DARE YOU LEAVE ME HIGH AND DRY.

(But not exactly high and dry, because don't think I didn't catch that you and Joe "did other stuff" - those two words are keeping me going.)

Marius just called me a perv.

Okay, but back to your current issue at hand - why don't you just introduce Joe to your parents? I mean it's hardly a "real" introduction - nothing is real via FaceTime. So then if...whatever this is...ends...it's whatever because they never actually met. And then your Dad won't assume you're being a big ho--

Marius just told me I can't call you a ho. He really, really does not understand female friendships...

Okay that's my advice. Let me know how it goes.

April 27, 2020
To: CasparLee
From: Suggyyy
Subject: Her parents

Bro. I just met Dianne's parents. Well, over FaceTime, but still.

Mainly because her dad was worried I was a delivery boy barging into his daughter's flat in the middle of a pandemic because he saw me in the background of one of their calls earlier this week.